January 24, 2009 – The Tossed Salad

            As I look over at Ralph he looks like he is laughing so hard that he is going to pee his pants – which would explain the stains on the seats of most of the taxis.  Most of those are probably from Jorge though from when he eats his Chicken wings, just before he throws the bones under the seat that is.  Catherine’s not too happy with Jorge right now.  In one of his all too familiar ill thought out schemes, he was caught by the owner after he arranged to pick up one of his passengers outside of our zone.  We are only allowed to pick up rides that originate on Cortez Island.

            Jorge dropped off a passenger of his in National City earlier in the day and had arranged to pick him up – as we all do.  Well, for whatever reason Jorge’s passenger (Jimmy) called him and after Jorge didn’t show up in a timely manner, Jimmy decided to call and find out where exactly Jorge was.  Problem was that he didn’t call Jorge back, he called the office.  And who answered the phone you might ask?  

Well Catherine of course.  As a punishment Jorge has been washing the car several times a week.  Jimmy probably called Jorge first and couldn’t understand a word that he said with Jorge’s terrible English.  Although I’m probably being too tough on Jorge, I’m sure that it takes most people a decade to speak passable English.

            Anyways, back to Ralph.  Ralph had come upon some new slang today.  Apparently Ralph had never heard of a tossed salad.  What is a tossed salad?  Oh, let me tell you.  It’s when you wedge your face in someone else’s asscrack and have lunch and tongue their butthole.  Not my cup of tea.  Ralph though it was hilarious. 

            For whatever reason Ralph is perhaps better known as “The Undertaker.”  I’m not quite sure where this name came about but from what my passengers have told me, the ones who coined the phrase, it has to do with the fact that Ralph works the graveyard shift and dresses up in a suit and tie.  Truthfully I don’t see the connection.  Actually, he looks much more like Steven Seagal.  One day I'll get a picture of Ralph so I can do a side by side - it's uncanny...

While I was looking online for picture of Steven Seagal I found this picture below.  The guitar surprised me, Seagal always struck me as a clarinet type of guy.