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July 13, 2008

July 13, 2008 – Kevin and Linda

            We have a few new drivers that have started recently – Kevin and Linda are their names.

            Kevin is a pretty normal guy.  He lives a pretty simple life.  He has an affinity towards small planes, remote control ones mostly.  He’s shown me some pictures, they’re really nice – the planes.  It’s an expensive hobby by the sounds of it, but Kevin’s a hard worker, and with all of the hours he puts in he seems to make decent money.

            And Linda, well Linda’s a little different.  Linda is SIGNIFICANTLY OVERWEIGHT, has teeth that are as yellow as corn kernels, and showers once every four days, similar to Randy actually.  She comes home, eats dinner (at least one), and goes to bed in her clothes.  The problem occurs when she wears them to work the next day, and the day after that, and the day after that…  You get the picture.

            One of the drivers cabs broke down the other day and since Linda wasn’t working they let them use it for the day.  The driver, Tom, said that it smelled so bad that several customers either refused to ride in it or voiced their displeasure about the smell.

            Kevin currently lives with Linda and her sister Mandy.  Mandy is no prize either, although a gem compared to Linda.  Mandy is dating Kevin, which is a topic that he understandably shies away from.  Kevin has been working a lot more hours lately.  Turns out the other roommates haven’t been paying their fair share towards the rent.  Where has the rent money been going?  Well, it’s been going to Disneyland every week or so.   As always the story gets better…

            Linda, well she’s still a virgin – at 54 years old…  I could just see the personal ad now –

“54 year obese, cab driving, smelly virgin with crusty yellow teeth and bad breath seeks soulmate willing to take weekend trips to Disneyland with me and my obese sister.” 

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