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July 9, 2008

July 9, 2008 – Randy

            Just when I think I’ve seen it all, I come across a driver like Randy…

            Randy is a sixty something year old man from rural Missouri, or “Missoura” as he calls it.  Randy wears shorts, flip flops, and Hawaiian shirts, Which he swears are part of the company uniform.  They do beautifully accent his mullet and Hyena like cackling though.

            Randy claims he get’s great tips from the Navy, which is doubtful, because he pulls out all the stops – his “Dog and Pony show” if you will.  Perhaps this is done to distract his customers from the fact that he hasn’t showered in 3 days and has been relentlessly chain smoking in the car which now smells like an ashtray.  Some of these dipshits actually smoke CIGARS in the cab.  CIGARS!

            A few years ago Randy got a large inheritance.  I’m not exactly sure what the details were, which really don’t matter.  Something to the tune of  $250,000.  What might you ask did Randy do with this money?  Why he spent it in one year on booze, and hookers at “The Body Shop”, a dilapidated strip club in Point Loma.  His favorite girl is named "Candy".  Real creative right.  For $300 she lets him fill her up with his old wrinkly weiner.  

           I believe he took a several week trip to Brazil as well.   I would say that Randy is a loser.  I don’t think that would be a stretch.  But no, not Randy.  He calls it something else, he calls it “having a good year”. 

            Not much has changed, although since Randy has been driving the taxi he hasn’t been living as lavishly.  He has still however continued to spend the majority of his money on booze and hookers, which often times comes before rent money.  

This was meant to be another one of my caricature's because I don't actually have pictures of most of the drivers, but the more I look at it I think that this might actually be "Randy."


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