July 28, 2008 – DUI Stop

            Every night at around 10:30 Cortez beefs up it’s police presence.  Looking for drunk drivers mostly – something that I agree with.  San Diego is ranked number one in the country for DUI convictions.  I don’t know whether that is figured in terms of sheer number or per capita.  It’s a fairly common site, but much more common in Cortez.  Surely a number of these stops are involving people who are legitimately drunk, but from what I have seen that is often not the case.  Many of the people who ride in the taxi have been harassed at some point or another by the local police.  The other day I got to see it first hand.  At 3:00 a.m…

            Officer Bert: Do you know why I stopped you?

            Me: No

            Officer Bert: You have a headlight out.

            Me: Oh.

            Officer Bert: License, Registration, and Insurance please.

            Me: Here you go.

            Officer Bert: Where you coming from?

            Me: I park over by the Albertsons.  I drive a taxi in Cortez.

            Officer Bert: Oh.

            So Officer Bert goes out to his car for a few minutes and does whatever paperwork needs to be done. 

            Officer Bert:  How much have you had to drink tonight?           

            Me: I haven’t been drinking, I drive a cab.

            Officer Bert:  You could tell me, have you had a few beers?

            Me: No, I haven’t

            Officer Bert: Well it smells like beer in your car.

            Me: No it doesn’t.

            Officer Bert: Can you step out and do a few tests for me?

            Me: Can we just skip that if I take a breathalyzer?

            Officer Bert: No, we have to do a few tests.

            Now we start a series of the generic DUI tests – Touching your nose with your head tilted back and closing your eyes, walking in a straight line with one foot right in front of the other, the pen test, and so on.

            Officer Bert: Now I need you to follow this pen with your eyes, but don’t move your head, just follow it with your eyes.

            Officer Bert: (After the test) Your eyes are really big and jerky.  What have you been doing?

            Me: I’ve been driving a cab all night, and I had a few energy drinks, and its late, and I’m tired.

            Officer Bert: Energy drinks won’t make your eyes do that.  Only alcohol and Narcotics will do that.

            Me: Well, I don’t know what to say, I haven’t done any of that.

            Officer Bert:  It’s ok, you can tell me if you had a few beers.

            At this point I have nothing else to say.  It doesn’t appear that Officer Bert is believing my story.  Now another police car shows up – containing Officer Ernie.

            Officer Bert: Look at his eyes.

            Officer Ernie: Wow.  What have you been doing?

            So I do the rest of the tests.  I fail all of them – or so I’m led to believe… Eventually the breathalyzer comes out.  It’s a pivotal moment.  Bert and Ernie have big shit eating grins on their face, and probably a big hard on in their pants.

            Officer Bert: Alright, I’m going to need you to blow into this.

            A few moments pass…

            Officer Bert: (With a bewildered look on his face) Ok, get out of here.

            Get out of here?  I most certainly think an apology is in order.  This whole ordeal was totally uncalled for.  What really made me mad was that they needlessly prolonged this whole thing.  It was pretty obvious from the get go, and this should have taken 4 minutes not 40.  I am not happy.

And what a bunch of A-holes anyways.  Ford Mustangs?  I'm sure all that extra horsepower really comes in handy on those densely packed 25mph streets...

         

March 25, 2008 – Showdown With The Sarge

So once again, here we are, mono a mano – me and The Sarge.  He turns at me with an surprisingly imposing glare, despite his short stature.  His mustache is neatly trimmed.  Braun?  Shall I ask him?

  I nod politely.  I admire his panache. 

Today is the day I prove my innocence.  I stroll in looking quite dapper myself.  I dress up and put on a tie.  It was a real struggle putting on a tie this morning, it’s been years since I wore one.  I had to use a diagram that I found on the internet.  And even then it was only occasionally.  Judges notice these things.  Dressing up shows respect for the court and what it represents.  Me, well I just am interested in winning my case.   This day has been months in the making.  It can be rather intimidating contesting the officer in court, I wouldn’t bother if I didn’t think I had a shot.  But I brought pictures, diagrams, and one hell of a compelling story.  This all weighs in as well.  Here is a person who is willing to take the time to not only dress up, drive to court, wake up at 6:30 a.m., take time to take and develop pictures, draw diagrams, and take time off work to come to Chula Vista of all places.  I was already off of work, I work nights, but the judge probably didn’t notice. 

So I explained how the officer’s view was obscured by the curving, dimly lit road – State Road 57.  I explained to the judge that I was headed South and turned to the East just as another vehicle was headed West and turned North.  All at the same intersection, all at the same point in time.  The amazing thing was that these events happened nearly simultaneously with two nearly identical late model sedans giving the impression that I illegally took a u-turn instead of heading eastbound.

Then the pictures and the diagram came out.  The Sarge threw his hands up in disbelief.  The sea was angry.  He made it a point to correct some of my sketches more mundane details.  I held my composure and stated my case.  No theatrics, no bravado, just a well planned defense.  I came out on top.  I won.  The Judge did have one request however – my trip sheet.  I didn’t have it with me, but I agreed to bring it in at a later date.  I was informed that my case would be dismissed upon my submission of this.

The Sarge stormed out of the court after quickly gathering his papers.  He was not happy in the least, but that was to be expected.  If I was worried about hurting his feelings I never would of came.  But that’s not something that much bothered me.  I’ll have to be more careful from now on, and do my best not to garner any additional scrutiny in Cortez…