September 19, 2008 – Are We Losing Parts?

            Today one of our drivers cabs broke down.  Well, it wasn’t a routine breakdown, although a routine one for this company.

            “Quincy” picked up young lady who was going out to South San Diego.  This is one of the better rides that we get – typically $35 - $40.  If were lucky we get one of these rides every day or two, although we would get quite a few more if Catherine wasn’t sending her liveries to pick up our rides.  Lining her grubby little pockets.

            It’s only fair that I say a little about the livery scheme, as a premise to the story.  Truthfully it’s a rather dry topic, but an important one for a cabbie.  There are two competing services at “Cortez Cab.”  A livery service, and a taxi service.  A clear conflict of interest. 

             A taxi can be hailed/called for on the spot.  A livery/charter vehicle cannot.  Liveries/charters have a set of guidelines regulated by the California Public Utilities Commission that states the legal requirements.  Namely they are that a prior reservation must be made, and that a set fare must be established.  I believe the fare is established by distance and number of riders in most cases.  Taxis have a metered rate that is set by the city.  The meter is calibrated according to time and distance.

            Anyways, what Catherine often does is take people that call and ask for a taxi and talk them into a livery.  The liveries are paid hourly and only keep tips.  Catherine pays for their gas and maintenance, and keeps the rate that is charged.  Sometimes she just makes up the rate, or the livery driver tells the office that they picked up 3 passengers when they really picked up 5 -and charged them for 5 people I might add.  This isn’t speculation.

            Point is we cherish these long rides, nowadays more than ever.  When Quincy picked up his passenger, “Anna”, he knew from the get go that the car was performing at an even lower level than normal.  There was a certain jerkiness in the steering wheel.  That didn’t stop Quincy.  That wouldn’t stop me.

            So as Quincy and Anna are coming out of Cortez there is suddenly a loud clanking.

            Anna:  Do you hear that?

            Quincy: Yeah, I’m not sure what that is.

            Anna: Do you think that’s ok?

            Quincy: Yeah, but I should probably take a look at it next chance we get to stop.

            Anna: Ok

            Just a few minutes later the steering wheel suddenly jerked to the left side.  Quincy had to quickly compensate and jerk the wheel to the right.  The taxi careened left and nearly did a nosedive into the ground.

            Anna: Uh, are we losing parts?

            Quincy: Yeah, I think so.

            Quincy pulled over and another driver with the company brought Anna to her destination.  Quincy wasn’t happy.  Not only did he miss out on the $40, but he lost two hours of his time and had to speak with the office.  He was immediately blamed for the incident.  This is typical – a default reaction by the office.  Sometimes drivers do neglect their cars, lord knows I do, but often times things just break.   A little jerkiness in the steering wheel could just as easily have been chalked up to a power steering leak, a misalignment, or in this case, a shitty old taxi.  Quincy had every reason to think that everything was, well, routine…

July 24, 2008 – Business Travelers

             Picked up a few business travelers earlier tonight.  These are pretty routing, especially during Convention season (Summer months).  They’re a pretty good crowd for the most part, and when they realize that you don’t smell and speak fluent English they are much more apt to ride with you.  I get a lot of return fares, and most of them tip well.  They all just write it off as a business expense.

            They also love the strip clubs, although not as much as the Navy does.  Business travelers often cleverly try to segue into the topic.  It’s obvious where they want to go, and it doesn’t make one bit of difference to me.  I like to bring people to the strip club, they’re all quite far.  They’re all a good ride.

            The travelers often ask me to recommend a good club.  I tell them that they’re all pretty much the same, just that you don’t want to go to one in a shitty part of town.  Me, well I never really saw the appeal of strip clubs.  Paying all of that money to get your dick teased.  Doesn’t strike me as much fun…

            Often I pick up repeat customers, some of them frequent the clubs several times per week to visit “Luscious”, “Candy”, “Fantasia”, or some other typical stripper name.  Now that I think of it, Randy’s favorite girl at the club was named “Candy.”  And what was that strip club called – The Body Shop.  How appropriate.  It looks so glamorous, so elegant, right in the middle of an industrial park in Point Loma.

"World Famous?"

July 9, 2008 – Randy

            Just when I think I’ve seen it all, I come across a driver like Randy…

            Randy is a sixty something year old man from rural Missouri, or “Missoura” as he calls it.  Randy wears shorts, flip flops, and Hawaiian shirts, Which he swears are part of the company uniform.  They do beautifully accent his mullet and Hyena like cackling though.

            Randy claims he get’s great tips from the Navy, which is doubtful, because he pulls out all the stops – his “Dog and Pony show” if you will.  Perhaps this is done to distract his customers from the fact that he hasn’t showered in 3 days and has been relentlessly chain smoking in the car which now smells like an ashtray.  Some of these dipshits actually smoke CIGARS in the cab.  CIGARS!

            A few years ago Randy got a large inheritance.  I’m not exactly sure what the details were, which really don’t matter.  Something to the tune of  $250,000.  What might you ask did Randy do with this money?  Why he spent it in one year on booze, and hookers at “The Body Shop”, a dilapidated strip club in Point Loma.  His favorite girl is named "Candy".  Real creative right.  For $300 she lets him fill her up with his old wrinkly weiner.  

           I believe he took a several week trip to Brazil as well.   I would say that Randy is a loser.  I don’t think that would be a stretch.  But no, not Randy.  He calls it something else, he calls it “having a good year”. 

            Not much has changed, although since Randy has been driving the taxi he hasn’t been living as lavishly.  He has still however continued to spend the majority of his money on booze and hookers, which often times comes before rent money.  

This was meant to be another one of my caricature's because I don't actually have pictures of most of the drivers, but the more I look at it I think that this might actually be "Randy."