June 17, 2008 – Taxi Life’s Not All Sour Grapes

            More often than not I get good fares.  Polite, respectful, intelligent people.  Generally we get pretty good clientele.  Mostly affluent locals, tourists, and people in town on business.  They’re not all sailors.

            I have a regular customer that I pick up.  He’s in that navy, and is by no means a dipshit.  His name is “Bob,” and he’s a vice admiral in the Navy.  The upper echelon if you will.  I enjoy talking with him, talking about the structured lifestyle that the Navy brings.  Talking about his experiences over the years.  Interesting stuff.  Smart guy.  I often pry, to see what I can find out.  I get interesting little stories here and there.  Jim sees my angle, and politely deflects my inquiries.  The ones of a more sensitive nature at least.  I admire him. 

This is a picture of "Bob" that I found online.

            Not like your typical enlisted guys, always talking about how drunk they were, or how many times they “scored.”   Stories that are embellished more often than not.  Especially the latter.

            Typically these are narrated in some sort of elementary fashion.  Their rudimentary vocabulary, usually consisting of several of the more common basic expletives or “cuss words.”  Bitch, shit, cunt, asshole, fuck, and a range of slurs are often their favorites.

        Just on my last ride I had three federal judges in my car.  They worked on the civil side of things.  Being somewhat versed on the topic of law, but by no means an expert, I found their conversation quite engaging.  Intriguing.  They dealt primarily with labor law and how discrimination becomes easily, and often subtly, intermingled within.

June 7, 2008 – Juicio

         Got a good laugh on the radio tonight.  Actually, I pretty much get a good laugh on the radio every night, more than anything by the idiocy surrounding things at this taxi company.  I feel like a neglected vegetable, perhaps the only wholesome thing in this big soupy idiot stew I like to call Cortez Cab.  Masked, overpowered by the salty, fatty meat.  I feel like a carrot, slowly being saturated by the broth, unable to escape, slowly turning into one of them.  Perhaps the company should be likened to an Italian dish rather , after all, there are no shortage of meatballs here.  Yet, I digress.

            Juicio – Eeehhhhhh Caaaab 54

            Juicio – Caaab 54 (2 seconds later)

            Juicio – Caaab 54, are you hear me. (Another 2 seconds later)

            Julie -             YES! WAIT A MINUTE

            Juicio – Why do you no answer me when I call you.

            Julie – BECAUSE YOU DIDN’T GIVE ME A CHANCE TO ANSWER!

            Juicio – Ehhhhhh I don----------

            Julie – WHAT!

            Juicio – Why are you n--------

            Julie – Someone’s clicki-------

            Julie – ST------ IT

            Juicio – Ok y------ co---  talk t----

            So yeah,  as you probably guessed, one of the other drivers is playing with the radio, interrupting the transmission.  This went on for a bit, I don’t feel the need to elaborate, by now you’ve probably caught onto the theme.  

            Julie is probably sitting in her miniature office chair cursing up a storm, and when I say that the chair is miniature, I am speaking in relative terms.  And Juicio, well, he’s just unable to realize that he’s a problem.  Like a toddler actually.   In retrospect I don’t know if it’s fair for Julie to be yelling at him in the first place.  For all intents and purposes, Juicio is a toddler – would you yell at a toddler?  Well, I probably would, I absolutely hate children.  But is yelling at a toddler beneficial?  I’d say probably not. 

            Myself, well I believe in positive reinforcement.  Maybe if Juicio is able to relax when calling in and not get Julie all riled up he could get a piece of candy, or something shiny.  I think that there’s tinfoil laying around at the office – a handy tool for car repairs here at the company.  Perhaps some of the omnipresent  wood screws, I’m sure that there are a few that have loosened and fallen into my door.  All these wood screws.  Perhaps I’m missing something, could they serve some ornamental purpose?

Now doesn't that look fancy.  Those wood screws serve as a nice contrast to all the grime on the control panel.