July 1, 2008 – Just Another Day at Cortez Cab

         Business as usual....

June 25, 2008 – Another Traffic School

            They called it “Laugh for half” traffic school. Only 39.95, what a steal!  I would have called it “Feeling down and out, go ahead, frown and pout.”  I think that everyone should to go to traffic school at least once.  It’s a right of passage, a lesson in humility.  I don’t recommend that people attend half a dozen times like me.  I feel like I should be the instructor.  Whatever though, I deserved it.  Live and learn right.  After all, what could be better than being in La Mesa in a business park on a Saturday afternoon for 8 hours...

June 21, 2008 – Vincent

            Today Vincent got a little agitated with the games on the radio.  This happens fairly frequent these days.  Music, fart noises, mocking other drivers, etc…  Me, I don’t worry about it, I really don’t care.  But man, some people really get worked up about it, especially Vincent.

            Vincent used to be a dispatcher.  It just became too much for him to handle – all of the games on the radio that is.  The drivers would just taunt him relentlessly.  I could just imaging him sitting in that tiny little office, just smoldering away.  Infuriated.

            When the drivers would start up with the noises he would say things like “That’s what your motha said” or “I’m gonna come down there and punch you in the mouth.”  This would just add fuel to the fire.  If Vincent thought that the noise was bad before…  After a while Vincent was having nightly outbursts, cursing away at the drivers.  Most of them just got a good laugh out of it. 

            Now that Vincent has been driving, instead of dispatching, things aren’t much better.  About a week ago he had a breakdown.  It wasn’t the first time…  After being thoroughly provoked by his fellow cabbies, Vincent scoured the city with the intention of speaking to every single driver in an attempt to weed out the culprit.  He just came to the cab stands, one by one, shouting things like “I don’t give a fuck about the job, the police, jail.  If I find out who’s doing this I’m going to put them in the hospital!”  “I don’t give a fuck, I’ll put them in the ground!”  To say that he was mad would have been an understatement.

            The only advantage for Vincent is that when he begins to lose his temper while driving he can just go home.  When he was dispatching that wasn’t really an option.  Today, despite his frustration, Vinny stayed.  He just drove his passengers to their destination while calling the instigators “cowards.”  Catherine wasn’t amused.  A “landline” was requested…

June 18, 2008 – El Mejor Strikes Again

            Julie: Franco, what’s your 20?

            Julie: Franco!

            Franco: In the lobby.

            Julie: I sent you to the Navy base!  Where are you?

            Franco:  In the lobby.

            Julie: You’re supposed to go to the main gate, where are you!

            Franco: Right here, in the lobby.

            It didn’t take much to piece this one together.  If nothing else because there’s no “lobby” at the main gate.  Just a parking lot.  Franco had been spotted shortly before picking up a ride that another driver had been sent for.  If only his English skills were better he might have been able to offer up a better explanation.  Stating that he was “In the lobby” just wasn’t cutting it.  Shortly thereafter Catherine got on the radio to ask about Franco’s current whereabouts.

            Catherine: Franco

            Franco: Yes

            Catherine: Franco, what’s your 20?

            Franco: Right here in the lobby.

            Catherine: (With a frustrated sigh) What’s your 20 Franco, there’s no lobby at the main gate. 
            Where are you?

            Franco: Uh, I’m here, in the lobby.

            It was at this point that the office gave up on the situation.  It was obvious that Franco hadn’t gone to where he had been sent to, and it was also obvious that he was nowhere near any lobby.  Things were tough for Franco the rest of the day…

June 19, 2008 – Eavesdropping

            I caught the office eavesdropping on me today.  I don’t know if “caught” is the right word, they made it quite apparent.

            One of our piece of shit cabs broke down on me AGAIN yesterday.  An almost weekly occurrence at this point.  This time it was a blown hose.  I was just driving and all of the sudden noticed my temperature gauge indicator was in the red – not a good sign. 

            Perhaps I could have been alerted if the check engine light had not been covered up with a business card.  Actually, I guess it wouldn’t have mattered, since it is always lit.  That was surely the thinking behind putting the business card there.  I think every car that I have driven so far had a check engine light the was permanently illuminated.  To be fair, I’m sure that some of the cars have check engine lights that aren’t illuminated though – but only because they were left on so long that the bulb burnt out.

            At any rate I thought it would be in my best interest to pull over right away.  There was steam shooting up from the hood, which is what actually alerted me to the problem initially.   Upon further inspection I saw that one of the hoses going to the radiator had blown and was spilling coolant into the street.  I called the office and arranged for a replacement cab for the remainder of the day.

            Today day I gave the office a call to check on the status of my car.

            Julie: Cortez Cab

            Me: Hey Julie, can I speak with Victoria?

            Julie: Hold on.

            Victoria: Hello, Victoria speaking.

            Me: Hey Victoria, it’s *****.  I was calling to see if there was any word on my cab.

            Victoria: Hmmm, uh let me see, uh, which cab do you drive?

            Me: Cab 44

            Victoria: Yeah, it looks like you will be driving Cab 98 for the res--------

            Catherine: Victoria I got it, I’ll take it from here.

            Catherine: Hey *****.  Yeah, right now your cab is in the shop.  Were looking at it right now.  Were checking the engine right now to see if we can save it.

            Me: Ok, I’ll check back later on it.  Thanks.

            Catherine: Teeennnn Fooouuuurrrr

            Why the guilt trip?  There was no way that I could have foreseen that hose bursting.  These things just happen.   Actually most times when something does break on an automobile it’s completely spontaneous.  I did exactly what I should have done by pulling over and letting the cab cool down.

            And for the eavesdropping.  I have no idea what the reason for that was.  And could it been overdramatized anymore?  I think not.

June 2, 2008 – The Hidden Compartment

            Thump, thump, thump…

            That’s never a good sign.  I exited the taxi and took a look around.  It was a flat tire, as I had suspected.  I really hate changing tires, especially on these cars.  They’re filthy.  With tires like these it’s no surprise that there are blowouts. 

            So here I am, staring blankly into an empty trunk.  Oh sure there were things in there, just nothing useful.  There was Windex, some old oily rags, and a musty smell.  Oh yeah, there was a shitty old spare tire – but once again, nothing useful.  I pull out the spare, which was pretty low on air, not much better than my flat tire I might add.  But there’s a problem, there’s no jack.  That’s sort of an important step – to jack up the car.  To my surprise there was a tire iron.  I call the office.

            Me: Hi Julie, is Catherine there?

            Julie: Ugh, hold on.

            Catherine: Hello

            Me: Hey Catherine, it’s *****

            Catherine: What’s the problem?

            Me: I have a flat tire and there doesn’t seem to be a jack in the car.

            Catherine: Did you check the trunk?

            Me: …Yes Catherine, I looked in the trunk.

            Catherine: Did you check in the side compartment?

Me: Well, I’m not exactly sure where that is but I’ve looked everywhere in the trunk.           

Catherine: I’ll come over.

So this took a good 45 minutes or so.  It probably took so long because she let Earl driver her over.  I’d never get behind the wheel with that guy, some of Cortez’s residents feel that way as well.  Yeah, he’s still driving people around in his late 80’s.   Unreal.  And what the fuck was with her asking if I had looked in the trunk?  I just wanted to say something like “No, I’ve just been looking in the glove box” or “I already checked my pockets, I don’t know where else it could be.”  Give me a little credit.

So Catherine walks over to the trunk, grabs a felt panel, and peels it back.  No shit, there’s a secret compartment in the trunk.   I never would have found this.  Turns out that I’m not the only driver who has had issues looking for the jack here.  How am I supposed to know about this.  There’s no marking, labeling, or visible seam to hint that there is a hidden compartment.  Catherine just gave me a funny look as if I wasted her time, and truthfully I did, but if she had just explained a little better this all could have been prevented. 

Luckily I had brought a change of clothes with me – namely a black shirt.  Catherine has adopted a uniform policy where drivers can wear black pants and a white, black or yellow collared shirt.  Not many of the drivers follow this.  I usually wear t-shirts because they are more comfortable.  I’ve never once heard a customer complain about what I was wearing.  Catherine claims that customers complain about how I am dressed all the time.  Really, a clean t-shirt and jeans?  I drive a taxi not a limo.

I’m not sure exactly who it is, but it’s become fairly obvious that Catherine has drivers that keep and eye on things for her.  Most likely one of the daytime drivers, there’s quite a few ass kissers during the day that try to get brownie points from the office.  They mainly keep watch for unimportant things like who is wearing the required company uniform.  The office used to send one of the workers out on surveillance missions with a camera to take a picture of anyone who wasn’t wearing the “official colors.”  There are some drivers who wear the same black shirt, or white or yellow for that matter, for days on end.  By the third or fourth day they are covered with b.o. and stains from eating on the road.  This is all ok though…

May 17, 2008 – Malik

            One of the drivers has been causing me a bit of a headache lately.  Malik is his name.

            Julie: Cab 44

            Me: Cab 44

            Julie: Go to the Lowes to pick up

            Me: 10-4

            Malik: I’m closer, can I have that call.

            Me: Thank you Malik, but I’m already on my way.

            Malik: I’m closer, I should get it.

            Julie: Fine take it Malik!

            This is a bunch of shit.  I was given that call and he isn’t much closer (at least where he says he is).  The office likes to give calls to whoever is closest usually.  This isn’t really fair in my opinion – especially when you get dishonest drivers who claim that they are somewhere that they are not.  Malik is no exception.  As usual, Catherine’s rationale for this is rooted in irrationality. 

Ever waited for a cab?  Sure you have, it takes a long time right?  Possibly 30 minutes?  This is unheard of in Cortez.   You NEVER have to wait more than 15 minutes, and even that is rare.  Usually it is anywhere from 2 – 6 minutes.  So if Malik was where he said that he was he would have probably gotten there about 1 – 2 minutes earlier than I would have.  I can’t imagine that many people would be up in arms about this.  I don’t think anyone’s going to be that angry about their cab taking 8 minutes instead of 6…  But drivers that keep a pee jug and chicken bones under their car seat, smell like shit, and work 90 hour work weeks, oh that’s fine though…

Problem was that he wasn’t there, he was directly behind me in traffic.  Malik was caught in another lie.

            Me: Hey Malik, what’s your 20 (your location)?

            Malik: I’m almost there.

            Me: Really, you’re right behind me.

            Malik: I don’t know you are talking about.

            Me: I think you do.  Looks like you were lying.

            Later I saw Malik and the cab stand and he came out and smiled and asked why I was giving him a hard time.  I explained that I was giving him a hard time because what he was doing pretty much amounted to stealing from me.  He didn’t feel the need to apologize, or even admit any wrongdoing.  This really steamed me.  Being questioned why I pointed out that he was breaking the rules?  How dare I!

            Not really sure why I bother though, there seems to be no punishment here for this sort of thing.  Catherine just pretends that things like this don’t happen.  If that weren’t bad enough she’s bold enough to suggest that I misinterpreted the situation.  To say that there is nothing that she could or would do about it would be one thing.  But to try to convince me the perhaps I am imagining these things, or worse, that I am the real problem by pointing out Malik's misbehavior over the radio – well that’s just insulting.  Perhaps what is most frustrating is that problems like this could easily be fixed, if nothing else sitting the driver down and having a word with them.  Just letting them know that this won’t be tolerated would probably be sufficient in most cases.  A system of write-ups perhaps, you know like how normally functioning companies operate?  The key word here is “functioning.”

May 15, 2008 – T-Boned

             Saw this old lady get t-boned at an intersection earlier.  I’m not making light of the situation – she was fine.  Probably a little stirred up though.  It must have been a little hard to see through those giant coke bottle glasses.  I’m glad that she wasn’t hurt, or anyone else for that matter.  Both cars were pretty smashed up though.

            The lady, Nancy as we’ll call her, just shot right across traffic.  No hesitation whatsoever.  I was just a little behind the car that hit her.  He wasn’t going too fast, probably 20 mph or so.  He hit the tail end of her car and spun it 90 degrees clockwise.  Nancy didn’t even look, it didn’t even seem like she knew that there were other cars on the road.  If I had been another 30 feet further up the road I would have hit her, there would have been no time to stop.

            Nancy looked like she was in her 80’s.  Sure old people have to the right to drive on the road too, but when you don’t realize that you’re not the only one out there…  Then there’s a problem.   

I’m surprised that she made it across the first lane of traffic.  The road that she was crossing was a one way in each direction with a median for a staging area to wait for traffic on the other side to clear.  Usually, since the road is quite busy, you cross the first one way and sit idling in the median until you are clear to cross the other one way.  It’s not too confusing.  I find this a little unnerving that there are people this oblivious out there on the road.   

Nancy never even turned her head to look.  She was on a mission.

May 13, 2008 – The Smell Test

            So the other day one a customer complained that one of our taxi’s was not up to par.   Seems that the particular cab that they rode in was stinky.  Not a stretch by any means…  What was the office’s solution might you ask?  Well it was to have all the cabs come in one by one for a “Smell Test.”  Although surely it wasn’t coined as such by the office…

            Yep.  The drivers were called into the office one by one by Julia, yet another of the offices many grossly obese office workers, so that they could be sniffed individually in an attempt to pinpoint the culprit.  What a solution!  How scientific!

            Not only were a large number of drivers alienated, but the problem wasn’t solved.  As usual, the office failed to notice the obvious…

1.     It was probably the driver that smelled.

2.     The taxi may have only smelled that day due to something that had been spilled, someone had thrown up, or whatever.

3.     Realizing that their cabs were going to be inspected the drivers cleaned/deodorized their cabs prior to coming in.

After passing the “smell test” the drivers were free to return to work.  Later one of the disenfranchised drivers gave me their thoughts on the current state of affairs at Cortez Cab with what I found to be a humorous acronym for what they felt that the term cab really stood for – Complacency, Animosity, Belittlement.