December 6, 2007 – Mr. Banning

           Julie: Cab 34

           Cab 34: Cab 34 Go ahead

           Julie: Pick up Mr. Banning at 1820 in The Palms

           Cab 34: …I just got a flag

           Julie is probably the only one that doesn’t realize that is bullshit.  A “flag” occurs when an individual on the street waves down a taxi as it is driving by unoccupied.  Cab 34 just pretended that he had a customer so that he could avoid the call.  As a transportation service we cannot refuse to pick up customers who telephone the cab office for a pickup.  This is one of the stipulations of the City of Cortez sets for granting us a taxi medallion to work within its jurisdiction.  Or so I’m told…  As often is the case, whenever a call is dispatched to pick up an undesirable customer drivers come up with some type of excuse.

            Julie: Cab 777!

            Cab 77: (Slight pause after debating whether or not to answer…) Go ahead…

            Julie: Pick up Mr. Banning at 1820 in The Palms

            Cab 777: …10-4

            None of us like Mr. Banning.  He is a grumpy old man in his 90’s who is quick to point anything and everything that he doesn’t agree with.  Lets not sugar coat it, he’s an asshole.  As would be expected Mr. Banning is growing increasingly senile and forgetful in his later years.  In addition to being rude, he feels the need to continuously instruct us as to where the most popular Italian restaurant in Cortez is, as if we didn’t know. 

      

Every once in a while Mr. Banning compliments our driving and we are graciously rewarded with a $.25 tip for our congeniality and driving abilities.  This would be a great tip in the 1940’s.  Unfortunately like many of Cortez’s aging residents, Mr. Banning hasn’t adjusted to inflation and hasn’t yet realized that you can’t get a movie, soda, and popcorn for a quarter anymore.  Truthfully, I can’t name anything you can get for a quarter… 

July 23, 2007 - Earl

              Earl is out driving again.  No one really knows why… 

           

              Earl is Catherine’s father.  He used to own/run the company.  He may still own it, I’m not really sure.  Anyways, Earl is way to old to be driving a cab.  I have no idea how old the Earl is, from the looks of it probably in his mid to late 80’s.  Yesterday one of the drivers made a funny comment about how Earl is really starting to look like a mummy.  Now that I think about it he does look like a mummy.  One that wasn’t wrapped in gauze of course.  Most of the time Earl has a glazed over look on his face with his mouth agape.  He has no business being behind the wheel of a large automobile, and it’s not like there are no warning signs about his driving either.  He gets into car accidents like they’re going out of style.  I bet Helen Keller has a better driving record than Earl.  One of our regular customers, Mrs. David, routinely checks with the drivers to see is Earl is still driving.  Mrs. David is absolutely terrified to drive with him and recently has refused to continue doing so.

P.S. This is just someone who shares a likeness to "Earl."

          Also, I heard a funny quote the other day, It came from a funny SNL skit, when SNL was still funny, which has long passed.  Anyways, it was from a segment called "Deep Thoughts with Jack Handey."  I found this quite fitting.

           "When I die, I would like to go peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather did.  Not screaming and yelling like the passenger in his car."- Jack Handey