September 24, 2008 – Another Stalking Mission

             Julie (one of the obese dispatchers) just sent me to pick up Robert Pervantes again.  It shouldn’t have been my call but the first 3 drivers refused to pick him up.  They told Julie that they already had picked up a passenger, or that they were taking fares only from the other side of town, or that they were waiting on a passenger.  All lies.  It doesn’t take much to fool Julie though.  She’s like a dinosaur - big body, little brain.  A modern day Brontosaurus if you will.  It was slow so I agreed to retrieve him.

            I agreed to drive him once around the block so that he could attempt to peer into the window of his sister’s house and lust after her boyfriend.  From the sounds of it they don’t allow him over at all anymore.  Then he wanted to talk about his camera.  Robert has this crappy little point and shoot that he uses.  He tried showing me all of the pictures that he had shot in the last week of his day-to-day activities.  I told him that I had to concentrate on driving.

            Robert: Could we sit down by the water?

            Me: No, the car has to be moving.  I don’t care where we go, but we have to be             driving.

            Robert: Oh…

            Me: Yeah, sorry, it’s a new company policy.

            Robert: I see.

            As you might expect, this simply isn’t true.  I can’t imagine many things that I might enjoy less than getting paid peanuts to sit by the water in the dark and talk with Robert about who knows what.  Nope, were not doing that.  From the sounds of it Robert just needs a friend more than anything.  Surely they have services that offer such a thing.  Me, my services entail picking people up and driving them.  Turns out Robert is actually the one who is driving – driving me insane…

July 2, 2008 – Robert Pervantes

             I picked up this real oddball earlier, and to say that he was simply an oddball, well, that would be an understatement.  His name was Robert.  “Robert Pervantes.“

            I was sent to 571 R Street in the alley to pick him up.  In Cortez there are alley addresses and street addresses.  Generally the more well-to-do people have street addresses.  The alleys are reserved for smaller guesthouses and apartments primarily.  Typically younger people who work in the service industry here in Cortez.  Resturants, marinas, hotels, etc.  Not many corporate folk.  And occasionally weirdos…  Today was no exception.

            Me: Hi

            Robert: Um, hello.

            Me: Where are you off to?

            Robert: Um, can we just drive around for a bit?

            Me: Sure, but I have to give the dispatcher a final destination.

            Robert: But could we just drive around.

            Me: Sure whatever.  I’ll just make something up, but you’ll have to pay the meter. 

            Robert: Ok

            This already struck me as a little strange.  Typically people don’t like to pay for cabs, which aren’t cheap by the way, to just drive around.  This guy’s sure seems like a creeper.  It would be exciting to get a fugitive.  I’ve already had several geriatrics, it’s be nice to mix it up.

            Robert: Can you go right here.

            Me: Sure

            Robert: (A block later) Could you take another right?

            Me: Sure

            Robert: (Another block later) Could you take a right here?

            Me: …Ok

            Robert: Slow down.  Is that light on?  Was there anyone in there?

            Me: I don’t know.

            Robert: Do you think he saw me?

            Me: No, it’s dark out.

            Robert: Are you sure?

            Me: Yes

            Then the conversation really started to get weird.  He pulled out this camera with pictures of his sisters boyfriend on it, which appeared to have been taken surreptitiously, and asked for my take on them.

            Robert: So do you think that this guy is hot?

            Me: I wouldn’t know.

            Robert:  Oh, me either.

            Me: ………

            Robert: Can you make a left here?

            Me: Sure

            Robert: Can we make another left, and then the left after that too?

            Me: Sure Robert.

            Robert: Look the lights on in there.  Can you see anyone in there, do you think that’s my sisters         boyfriend?

            Robert: So you don’t think he saw me?

            Me: Well, I have one of my regular customers that I have to pick up, we should probably get heading back.

            Robert: Oh, ok.

            Me: (A few minutes later) $6.80.

            Robert: Ok, I just have $7.00.

            Me: That’s fine.

            That’s quite a coincidence  He had exactly (minus the 20 cents) what the meter was?  What if we just kept driving, as he had requested, and the meter came out to $9.00?  What would he have done then?   Would he have brought exactly $9.00 with him.  I really don't care if people tip me or not.  Many people think that we do.   

            You’re really rolling the dice if you are taking cabs without having enough money to pay the fare.  That’s something that might get you beat up.  I’m pretty well natured, some of the other drivers not so much.  Vincent’s a good example of that.  Vinny probably would have stuck an icepick in him.  After all, that’s his weapon of choice, or so he says…

            From the sounds of things his sister wasn’t too fond of him either.  Could it have been because here old pervy brother Robert keeps hitting on boyfriend?