Corruption in Cortez: Taxi Games in Paradise

September 7, 2008 – Mostafa

2012-02-28T18:52:00.001-08:00

Today Mostafa, another one of our Iraqi drivers, had a funny interaction with Catherine on the radio. This was shortly after one of his fellow drivers called him out on the radio for stealing a ride.

Driver C: Hey Mostafa, you just took my ride. I was sent here for the people who you just picked up.

Mostafa: No, they didn’t call.

Driver C: Yeah, they did. And I was the one that they sent, not you.

Mostafa: No, they’re different.

Mostafa happened to be closer to the call and just decided to pick up the people who were waiting. This happens all the time, and us honest drivers (all 4 of us) don’t much like it. We’ve tried to talk to the offenders personally, and went through the office to no avail. There’s no punishment handed down for this sort of thing. Not by the office at least. That didn’t prevent Franco from getting his nose broken though. An informal punishment.

This quickly escalated between Mostafa and the fellow drivers to the point where Catherine decided to intervene. Not for the sake of the driver whom had his ride stolen though, but for the sake of keeping the radio quiet. Catherine is under the impression that if customers in the cabs hear any bickering between the drivers that they will be outraged and refuse to ride with the company, or call the city, which is what scares Catherine most. She thinks that these supposedly disenfranchised passengers are going to come to city council meetings and complain about the service. Unfathomable, simply unfathomable…

Catherine: Cab 18 (Mostafa)

Mostafa: Cab 18 go ahead.

Catherine: Landline the office. (Call the office)

Mostafa: No thanks.

Catherine: Landline the office.

Mostafa: No, I’m not doing that. Maybe later I will

Catherine: (Not realizing that she still had her finger keying the mic) Boy, he’s got a mouth on him.

This is just another example of Catherine’s lack of control over the employees. Truthfully the employees run the show. They could probably run the company better too. Hell, they might even incorporate technology… Perhaps they would even use a computer? Catherine probably has a series of stone tablets that she carves notes onto.

August 30, 2008 – A Funny Story From Robert Pervantes

2012-02-27T20:07:00.002-08:00

You remember Robert right? You know, the creepy guy that wants you to drive around the block in circles while he stalks his sister’s boyfriend. This time was no different but I kept the stalking (as directed by Robert) to a minimum. Anyways, Robert told me a funny story.

About a week ago one of our drivers “Nick” picked up Robert and drove him to Starbucks so that Robert could get some coffee. Robert is disabled, possibly in a number of ways, but most noticeably by the fact that he walks with a crutch. I’m not exactly sure what ails Robert. Robert asked Nick if he could go inside and get some coffee. Nick wasn’t interested and told Robert that he would need to do that himself. Sure, it would have been a nice gesture to get Robert coffee, but in all fairness, it was a little forward for him to ask directly. Robert is able to walk, albeit with the aid of a crutch. Were taxi drivers, not errand runners.

At any rate about 10 minutes later as Robert is walking out he trips and falls and gets stuck right in the swinging door in front of Starbucks. Nick just sat there and watched as Robert flailed away like a fish on the beach. An employee of Starbucks came and helped Robert to his feet and back into the taxi. I could only imagine the awkwardness on the ride back.

I had heard nothing about this until Robert brought it up.

Robert: I went to the Starbucks the other day and tripped and fell as I was walking out. The driver saw the whole thing. He just sat in his taxi and stared.

Me: Oh, yeah.

Robert: Yeah, and then when he dropped me off he told me his name was “Gomez.” I know Gomez, and that wasn’t Gomez.

This is actually a game that a number of us drivers play. Whenever we get a fare that we don’t much care for, we tell our passenger that our name is something else. This is typically a driver that we really don’t care for. Me, well, I say my name is “Kirk.” He’s probably the biggest piece of shit out here, so I try to pass all of the crappy rides on to him. Kirk’s not as stupid as he looks though. He’s caught onto this, and now refuses to take personal requests from people he’s not familiar with.

Gomez, well Gomez actually likes to pick up Robert, although I can’t imagine why…

August 24, 2008 – More About Catherine’s Credit Card Swindle

2012-02-25T14:50:00.001-08:00

So there has been growing discontent amongst the drivers on the topic of credit cards. Or perhaps more specifically the forcing of drivers to take credit cards. Catherine put out the word that this is something that we must comply with as it is something that is regulated and necessitated by the City of Cortez. A few days ago one of our drivers talked with one of the higher-ups within the city government and asked point blank whether or not the city required taxi drivers to accept credit cards. An answer was received – an unequivocal NO. Catherine had told a lie.

Shortly afterwards the driver went to the office and asked Catherine whether or not we are required to take credit cards. Catherine told him “sometimes we need to take the iniative and step up and do things before the city requires us to do so.” Apparently Catherine had forgotten that only a week or so prior she had explicitly stated that taking credits was a citywide requirement.

And recently I heard something that really angered me. Supposedly Catherine has a mission down in Mexico that she contributes too. The fact that she operates a mission, or that it is in Mexico, is not the issue. What is an issue is that she obviously has a surplus of money, enough so that she is able to donate to nonessential causes such as this but refuses to outfit her company with clean, safe, dependable vehicles. That should be priority number one. All too often myself and other drivers have had to lose a days pay because our cab has broken down.

I’ve already caught Catherine in a number of mistruths. For example requiring that we pick up EVERYONE. Everyone? How about someone that wants to start a fight, doesn’t have money, doesn’t know where they are going, someone who just shit their pants. No, we most certainly do not.

August 22, 2008 – Mrs. Wilitz

2012-02-25T13:52:00.001-08:00

Mrs. Wilitz is one of our regular customers. She has an account with the office. Whenever Dolores Wilitz takes a cab we just put her pickup point, destination, and a total fare on a business card that is stamped with a payment template on the back. Most companies would print out receipts for this sort of thing. Not Cortez Cab. It might cost them a few extra cents to order stamped business cards, and it would be a lot to ask them to spend money on anything.If you’ve read some of my previous posts you’ve heard about the condition of our cabs. And if you haven’t, well, they’re pieces of shit.

So we have to go into the office and manually stamp the back of them. But we can't stamp to many at once. We are only rationed out 40 cards at a time. After that we are supposed to fill out a office log and sign it saying that we only took 40 business cards. I'm not sure why the office makes us do this, it's beyond silly. If drivers want to come in every day and grab 40 that would be fine though? I don't see the advantage of having a stockpile of stamped business cards sitting in my cab, other than the fact that if I do grab a bunch of them at once it minimizes the number of trips that I have to make to the office. Bizarre that office is...

Anyways, one of our drivers, who we’ll call “Driver A,” picked her up the other day. Driver A picked her up from “The Willows” a retirement community in Cortez. One of the attendants wheeled her vegetative husband out in his wheelchair. They were going to the Hotel Del Coronado, which is more of a local tourist attraction than anything else. I spoke with a man who went there for a beer a few days prior. A $13 beer…. A bottle of Budweiser.

Driver A and the attendant folded up the wheel chair and helped Mrs. Wilitz and her husband into the taxi. When they arrived there was a problem.

Driver A: (Pops the trunk to remove the wheelchair)

Mrs. Wilitz: What’s that!

Driver A: It looks like a wheeellllccchhaaaiir…?

Mrs. Wilitz: How did it get in there?

Driver A:?

Driver A: I put it in there…

Mrs. Wilitz: Well it’s not ours. That must belong to The Willows.

Driver A: Ok, I’ll return it.

As Driver A picked up Mrs. Wilitz and her husband they stood there and watched as the two men (Driver A and the attendant from The Willows) struggled to fold up the rusty old wheelchair for a good minute and put it in the trunk. It seems as if they had no idea that once it was folded up and placed in there that it would proceed to their final destination as well.

Driver A works nights, often till 3 a.m. The next morning one of the office workers, Bertha – the biggest one, called him to verify that the wheelchair had been returned. At 9 a.m…

I don’t like to get calls from the office about anything, much less to be woken up by them for such a trivial reason. Driver A wasn’t happy and I can’t blame him. Perhaps I’m wrong. Perhaps Bertha and Mrs. Wilitz knew something that I didn’t. Perhaps there is a thriving black market for dilapidated old wheelchairs.

August 10, 2008 – Credit Cards

2012-02-23T19:31:00.002-08:00

Recently the office has instituted a policy of accepting credit cards. Forcing cab drivers to take credit cards against their will. There’s a few reasons that none of the drivers like to deal with credit cards.

1. It takes time. Time is of the essence. Lost time = lost wages.

2. If they bounce then the driver is left holding the bag, not the company. I know what you’re thinking – credit cards don’t bounce, checks bounce. Well, that’s true, but if you have a credit card slip where you simply make an imprint of the card and a signature, well you don’t really have anything to back that when the office gets around to running them a week or so later.

3. We have to stop in to the office, making an extra trip sometimes, to drop off our credit card slips. We also have to see cab management, which many of the drivers don’t like all that much. Then when the drivers redeem their credit card receipts (if you’re lucky enough to get ones from the Navy that don’t bounce) the office charges 10% to run them. I asked the office why they charge us such a high rate when it probably only costs them 15-20% of that. They gave me a number of explanations that simply were not true.

4. The office will not pay the fees to set up a credit card terminal or service it. That is expected to be done by the driver.

5. Despite their antiquated system the office refuses to let the drivers call in the credit card over the phone so that it can be run almost instantaneously by the office. The office would have to technology for that – the telephone.

None of this is a problem for me however because I just refuse to take them. Every once in a while someone calls and complains, but the office is easily fooled with a good story. Something shiny or creme filled helps too.

August 6, 2008 – Fat Cabbie

2012-02-20T14:31:00.000-08:00

One of my fellow coworkers told me a funny story today. The previous night Jefferson had been sitting outside of the local Irish bar. A drunk man came out of the bar and asked to pay with a credit card. Jefferson said that he didn’t accept credit cards. An argument ensued.

Customer: Why not?

Jefferson: I’m not set up for it. I’m sorry.

Customer: NO. I’m paying with credit card.

Jefferson: We can stop by an ATM if you would like.

Customer: You’re just a fat cabbie and that’s all you’re going to ever be.

Jefferson: Perhaps, but you’re acting like a child who doesn’t get his way.

The man then just stormed off inside the bar. A few minutes later he came out and apologized and agreed to withdraw funds from the nearest ATM.

August 4, 2008 - More Pictures From The Zoo (Not the one I work at)

2012-02-19T19:27:00.000-08:00

Just a few more pictures I shot at the San Diego Zoo the other day. It's actually pretty hard to get good pictures at the zoo. But I like to try.

August 3, 2008 – The Man Who Didn’t Like Cigarettes

2012-02-19T11:39:00.001-08:00

A few weeks ago myself and a fellow driver were having a chat. I was sitting in my taxi, in the drivers seat, and one of the other drivers who well call “William” was sitting in the back. Smoking a cigarette. William does what most people do when they are finished with their cigarette – throw it on the ground. Obviously this isn’t the best place to discard spent cigarette butts, but that’s where most of them just end up. Point is it’s common.

As William threw his butt out the window a concerned citizen spotted it and came over to intervene. We’ll call this man “Lawrence.”

Lawrence: You dropped something.

William: Yeah

Lawrence: Yeah, it’s not a garbage can you know (the sidewalk).

William: I know.

Lawrence: So are you going to pick it up?

William: Yeah.

Lawrence: Are you going to pick that up?

William: Yeah, I will.

So Lawrence walks about 100 feet down the block and waits. Watching to see if William will leave the taxi to pick up his cigarette butt. Me and William get a good laugh out of this whole thing. I have never seen someone become so concerned about another person throwing a spent cigarette on the sidewalk. I probably see it ten times a day. Surely Lawrence sees the same. Surely it just makes his blood boil. After about 3 minutes Lawrence realizes that William has no intentions of picking up the cigarette butt and returns to the scene.

Lawrence: Here you go (as he picks up that cigarette butt, which still is smoldering on the pavement, and throws it right in the taxi at William).

William: (Sitting there in awe). What the fuck?

Me: What an asshole.

William: I don’t know what to say. I’m shocked.

Me: Unreal. That guy could have lit the taxi on fire. Probably not, but it could have happened. Does this guy always get this worked up about people throwing cigarettes on the ground? It must be pretty hard for this guy to get through his day.

A few weeks later I pick up a couple a few blocks from where this happened. As I tried to leave the alley some A-hole in the alley zooms up in her BMW and blocks me from getting out and honks his horn. He wants to go first. So I say whatever and let him pass. We’ll call my passengers “Marty” and “Stephanie.”

Me: What an asshole.

Stephanie: Tell me about it. I can’t stand that guy.

Me: Why’s that?

Stephanie: (Laughing) Tell him Marty.

Marty: He doesn’t want to hear about that?

Me: No I do, what’s the deal with that guy?

Stephanie: He’s our neighbor. One day I threw a cigarette out in the alley behind my house and a few later he came to our front door to return it. It was still lit.

Me: (Laughing) I know that asshole! (I then proceeded to tell Marty and Stephanie about my experience that I had a few weeks earlier at the Irish pub up the street.

We all got a good laugh out of this. Small world. One of these days this guy is going return a cigarette to someone who really doesn’t want it back. One of these days Lawrence is going to get socked in the face.

July 29, 2008 - Shooting Photos

2012-02-18T11:42:00.000-08:00

Just shot a few photos the other night. Wasn't sure which one I liked better.

July 28, 2008 – DUI Stop

2012-02-16T19:37:00.000-08:00

Every night at around 10:30 Cortez beefs up it’s police presence. Looking for drunk drivers mostly – something that I agree with. San Diego is ranked number one in the country for DUI convictions. I don’t know whether that is figured in terms of sheer number or per capita. It’s a fairly common site, but much more common in Cortez. Surely a number of these stops are involving people who are legitimately drunk, but from what I have seen that is often not the case. Many of the people who ride in the taxi have been harassed at some point or another by the local police. The other day I got to see it first hand. At 3:00 a.m…

Officer Bert: Do you know why I stopped you?

Me: No

Officer Bert: You have a headlight out.

Me: Oh.

Officer Bert: License, Registration, and Insurance please.

Me: Here you go.

Officer Bert: Where you coming from?

Me: I park over by the Albertsons. I drive a taxi in Cortez.

Officer Bert: Oh.

So Officer Bert goes out to his car for a few minutes and does whatever paperwork needs to be done.

Officer Bert: How much have you had to drink tonight?

Me: I haven’t been drinking, I drive a cab.

Officer Bert: You could tell me, have you had a few beers?

Me: No, I haven’t

Officer Bert: Well it smells like beer in your car.

Me: No it doesn’t.

Officer Bert: Can you step out and do a few tests for me?

Me: Can we just skip that if I take a breathalyzer?

Officer Bert: No, we have to do a few tests.

Now we start a series of the generic DUI tests – Touching your nose with your head tilted back and closing your eyes, walking in a straight line with one foot right in front of the other, the pen test, and so on.

Officer Bert: Now I need you to follow this pen with your eyes, but don’t move your head, just follow it with your eyes.

Officer Bert: (After the test) Your eyes are really big and jerky. What have you been doing?

Me: I’ve been driving a cab all night, and I had a few energy drinks, and its late, and I’m tired.

Officer Bert: Energy drinks won’t make your eyes do that. Only alcohol and Narcotics will do that.

Me: Well, I don’t know what to say, I haven’t done any of that.

Officer Bert: It’s ok, you can tell me if you had a few beers.

At this point I have nothing else to say. It doesn’t appear that Officer Bert is believing my story. Now another police car shows up – containing Officer Ernie.

Officer Bert: Look at his eyes.

Officer Ernie: Wow. What have you been doing?

So I do the rest of the tests. I fail all of them – or so I’m led to believe… Eventually the breathalyzer comes out. It’s a pivotal moment. Bert and Ernie have big shit eating grins on their face, and probably a big hard on in their pants.

Officer Bert: Alright, I’m going to need you to blow into this.

A few moments pass…

Officer Bert: (With a bewildered look on his face) Ok, get out of here.

Get out of here? I most certainly think an apology is in order. This whole ordeal was totally uncalled for. What really made me mad was that they needlessly prolonged this whole thing. It was pretty obvious from the get go, and this should have taken 4 minutes not 40. I am not happy.

And what a bunch of A-holes anyways. Ford Mustangs? I'm sure all that extra horsepower really comes in handy on those densely packed 25mph streets...

July 24, 2008 – Business Travelers

2008-07-24T19:14:00.000-07:00

Picked up a few business travelers earlier tonight. These are pretty routing, especially during Convention season (Summer months). They’re a pretty good crowd for the most part, and when they realize that you don’t smell and speak fluent English they are much more apt to ride with you. I get a lot of return fares, and most of them tip well. They all just write it off as a business expense.

They also love the strip clubs, although not as much as the Navy does. Business travelers often cleverly try to segue into the topic. It’s obvious where they want to go, and it doesn’t make one bit of difference to me. I like to bring people to the strip club, they’re all quite far. They’re all a good ride.

The travelers often ask me to recommend a good club. I tell them that they’re all pretty much the same, just that you don’t want to go to one in a shitty part of town. Me, well I never really saw the appeal of strip clubs. Paying all of that money to get your dick teased. Doesn’t strike me as much fun…

Often I pick up repeat customers, some of them frequent the clubs several times per week to visit “Luscious”, “Candy”, “Fantasia”, or some other typical stripper name. Now that I think of it, Randy’s favorite girl at the club was named “Candy.” And what was that strip club called – The Body Shop. How appropriate. It looks so glamorous, so elegant, right in the middle of an industrial park in Point Loma.

"World Famous?"

July 20, 2008 – The Taxi Blog Uncovered

2008-07-20T21:50:00.000-07:00

A few days ago Catherine, the company owner, found a fellow drivers blog. It was pretty tame, especially compared to what I have to write about the company, which is all true I might add.

Nothing was brought up to the author, but it was clear who was writing it, and what it was about. Catherine was able to put the pieces together after the blog’s writer went on a rant about how terrible of a roommate that he had (which was also true). All of the pieces suddenly fit together. The roommate happened to be a fellow driver with the company and it wasn’t too hard to connect the dots – even for “Catherine.” After all Randy is quite the standout, although not in the way that most people would use the term. More in terms of descending than ascending.

When Catherine found out she had a little pow-wow with the rest of the obese, bible toting loons and had a “prayer meeting” where they openly sobbed for the blog’s creator. She prayed for the driver. I have no idea what they were actually praying for - I can only imagine… Perhaps something garnished, if not entirely comprised of sugar. A pastry perhaps.

Me, well, I think that after reading a few of my posts Catherine will be able to connect the dots here as well. I’m not worried about that though, she can kiss my ass. You hear that Catherine? You can kiss my ass.

You remember Randy right?

http://corruptionincortez.blogspot.com/2012/01/july-9-2008-randy.html

Some of you may remember "Ted Martin's" blog as well - "The SoCal Cabbie"

July 17, 2008 – Lois’s Condition

2008-07-17T20:35:00.000-07:00

Lois's Lair

Today I had an interesting conversation with Jefferson about Lois. You may remember her, the lady with the garbage house. Jefferson explained how he was dissatisfied with riding with her, as all of the other drivers are, and how much of a pain in the ass Lois was. Turns out Lois had a pain in her ass as well – which she felt the need to tell Jefferson about. It wasn’t so much a pain as a condition perhaps. Lois thought Jefferson would enjoy having her explain her current affliction – the one about her bloody diarrhea. Surprisingly Jefferson wasn’t interested, or hungry anymore for that matter.

http://corruptionincortez.blogspot.com/2011/12/june-4-2008-garbage-house.html

July 13, 2008 – Kevin and Linda

2008-07-13T22:28:00.000-07:00

We have a few new drivers that have started recently – Kevin and Linda are their names.

Kevin is a pretty normal guy. He lives a pretty simple life. He has an affinity towards small planes, remote control ones mostly. He’s shown me some pictures, they’re really nice – the planes. It’s an expensive hobby by the sounds of it, but Kevin’s a hard worker, and with all of the hours he puts in he seems to make decent money.

And Linda, well Linda’s a little different. Linda is SIGNIFICANTLY OVERWEIGHT, has teeth that are as yellow as corn kernels, and showers once every four days, similar to Randy actually. She comes home, eats dinner (at least one), and goes to bed in her clothes. The problem occurs when she wears them to work the next day, and the day after that, and the day after that… You get the picture.

One of the drivers cabs broke down the other day and since Linda wasn’t working they let them use it for the day. The driver, Tom, said that it smelled so bad that several customers either refused to ride in it or voiced their displeasure about the smell.

Kevin currently lives with Linda and her sister Mandy. Mandy is no prize either, although a gem compared to Linda. Mandy is dating Kevin, which is a topic that he understandably shies away from. Kevin has been working a lot more hours lately. Turns out the other roommates haven’t been paying their fair share towards the rent. Where has the rent money been going? Well, it’s been going to Disneyland every week or so. As always the story gets better…

Linda, well she’s still a virgin – at 54 years old… I could just see the personal ad now –

“54 year obese, cab driving, smelly virgin with crusty yellow teeth and bad breath seeks soulmate willing to take weekend trips to Disneyland with me and my obese sister.”

July 11, 2008 – Another Ride With Pervantes

2008-07-11T21:39:00.000-07:00

I had another ride with Robert Pervantes again today. Not much different from the last time I had him. Not much better…

He kept asking for me to circle the block so that he could see if Todd (his sisters boyfriend), who Robert has a not so secret crush on, was home. Robert is fully aware of the fact that he is not well liked by Todd, yet he insists on stalking him.

Robert showed me this point and shoot camera that he had and asked a few questions. It was a slow night so I offered to show him some of the basic functions. We went by the bay, found a post to set the camera up on, and took some shots of downtown San Diego.

Robert seems to like me, although hopefully not as much as he seems to like Todd. He also told me that he likes riding with me better than riding with Dauf. Turns out about a week ago Dauf picked up Robert and offered to drive him around town. More than anything Robert likes to talk, or perhaps reveal…

Anyways, Dauf picked up Robert and decided to drive him down to Imperial Beach. Dauf likes to fill up gas in Imperial Beach because it is significantly cheaper down there. Problem is that it isn’t really feasible to drive all the way to Imperial Beach to get gas because by the time you get there you have probably negating any savings that you would have gained. It’s just easier to fill up in town where it is more expensive, or just cross the bridge to downtown.

Dauf: You want to go to I.B.?

Robert: I was hoping that we could just drive around?

Dauf: You’ll like I.B., it’s very nice. (Which simply isn’t true)

Robert: Um well I wa--------

Dauf: Ok, we go to I.B.

Robert: Um

Dauf: Yeah, you’ll like it.

So Dauf proceeds to drive (or kidnap) Robert down to Imperial Beach resulting in a $24 fare. Dauf was nice enough not to charge Robert waiting time while he filled up at the gas station though. What a sweetheart. Dauf had no problem charging him the fare for the return trip however, another $24.

In all fairness Imperial Beach has a pretty amazing sandcastle competition.

July 10, 2008 – Do You Know Why I Stopped You

2008-07-10T22:48:00.000-07:00

Of course I do…

Today I got a speeding ticket. I wasn’t trying to speed, I was just following the flow of traffic. We’ve all done it right? Of course I couldn’t see how fast I was going since my dash lights were still burnt out. Oh, and because the speedometer doesn’t work. I didn’t expect any leniency from the CHP. The shitty part was just before I got pulled over, and before I saw the cop I might add, I thought that I might have been going too fast and was slowing down. I should send the ticket to Catherine and have her pay it. I don’t know how many times now I’ve asked her to fix these problems with my cab.

I didn’t even want to be out in El Cajon. I was doing a favor for a regular customer by giving his friend a ride home for less than half of what the meter came to. On top of that his friend was running his mouth for no reason, and saying that I was taking him the long way, although when I asked which way he would like me to take he had no suggestions.

I enjoy picking up Jake though, he’s one of my “regulars.” He probably calls every few days, and unlike most of the sailors, he tips. I even went out and grabbed a beer after work with him once. Real down to earth guy. The officer who stopped me, well, he wasn’t so amicable. Surely I’ll be visiting traffic school again in no time…

July 9, 2008 – Randy

2008-07-09T11:04:00.000-07:00

Just when I think I’ve seen it all, I come across a driver like Randy…

Randy is a sixty something year old man from rural Missouri, or “Missoura” as he calls it. Randy wears shorts, flip flops, and Hawaiian shirts, Which he swears are part of the company uniform. They do beautifully accent his mullet and Hyena like cackling though.

Randy claims he get’s great tips from the Navy, which is doubtful, because he pulls out all the stops – his “Dog and Pony show” if you will. Perhaps this is done to distract his customers from the fact that he hasn’t showered in 3 days and has been relentlessly chain smoking in the car which now smells like an ashtray. Some of these dipshits actually smoke CIGARS in the cab. CIGARS!

A few years ago Randy got a large inheritance. I’m not exactly sure what the details were, which really don’t matter. Something to the tune of $250,000. What might you ask did Randy do with this money? Why he spent it in one year on booze, and hookers at “The Body Shop”, a dilapidated strip club in Point Loma. His favorite girl is named "Candy". Real creative right. For $300 she lets him fill her up with his old wrinkly weiner.

I believe he took a several week trip to Brazil as well. I would say that Randy is a loser. I don’t think that would be a stretch. But no, not Randy. He calls it something else, he calls it “having a good year”.

Not much has changed, although since Randy has been driving the taxi he hasn’t been living as lavishly. He has still however continued to spend the majority of his money on booze and hookers, which often times comes before rent money.

This was meant to be another one of my caricature's because I don't actually have pictures of most of the drivers, but the more I look at it I think that this might actually be "Randy."

July 6, 2008 – The Awakening

2008-07-06T21:06:00.000-07:00

I had an epiphany, and awakening if you will…

A movie, one that I’d seen long ago, but recently rediscovered. A landmark film to say the least. “Taxi Driver” was it’s title. For those of you who haven’t seen this, please do, you won’t be disappointed. It’s one of Martin Scorsese’s earliest films.

It wasn’t until I started driving a taxi that I realized how spot on the depictions of taxi life were. Truth be told, there are many differences in driving a taxi in New York as there are here in San Diego, but there are quite a few similarities as well. There will be no prostitutes, stalking, or murders.

For example, Travis (Robert Dinero’s character) becomes quickly immersed in the job, rapidly becoming disconnected from his family, and later reality. I found my conversations becoming more and more infrequent, and were often times about the job, and seemed to be centered on the day to day operations of the business. I justified things with my income. It quickly became an obsession. Day after day, long hours, and great money. It was never enough. I would work 10, 12, sometimes 18 hour days. Like Travis, a young man in the prime of his life.

In the movie you never are able to see the other side of the equation – Travis’s parents, and how they viewed the life he had made for himself. My parents, well, they were supportive, but disappointed that I hadn’t applied myself more in life, in a career if you will. Seconds turned into minutes, into hours, into days, into weeks, into months, and now into over a years time with the company.

I find myself on the outside, looking in at the world. Becoming bitter, despondent, resentful toward the company and their practices – which are often selfish at best. Disgusted with the owner and her thievery, naïveté, micromanagement of my work.

I don’t have the time, or inclination, to be a part of social events, to be amicable, or even upbeat about work here anymore. I have neglected relationships, and even burned a few bridges, as a result from my growing defeatist attitude.

What have I gained? Well I’ve gained plenty I suppose. I have made friends, with honest, down to earth people. Friendships that will hopefully continue when, and if, I decide to part ways with the company. I’ve had conversations with people from all over the world, talked about endless topics. Talked with people from different backgrounds, professions, races, and social strata. I’ve gained stories, experiences, and in some cases hard lessons, that I have learned from and made me stronger.

But as for now, I remain, a taxi driver.

July 5, 2008 – Getting Kirk Excited

2008-07-05T19:55:00.000-07:00

Today someone was getting Kirk all excited again. This seems to happen at least once a week. Sometimes more.

The reason that no one likes Kirk is because he’s an a-hole. There was a new guy that started last week and tried to introduce himself. He walked up to Kirk’s window. Kirk just ignored him. He didn’t even flinch. Jack (the new driver) was in disbelief.

Jack: I tried to talk to cab 83 (Kirk) earlier and he didn’t say anything.

Me: Yeah, that’s Kirk alright. I wouldn’t bother with that guy. Nobody here likes him.

Jack: He didn’t even acknowledge me. I know he heard me, his window was open.

Me: Don’t worry, he’s like that to everyone. He’s crazy, none of us like him.

Jack: Thanks for letting me know.

So anyways, like clockwork, one of the drivers began to pick on Kirk. This usually happens when he comes into work for the day.

Kirk: Cab 83

Julie: Cab 83

Kirk: 10-8, 10-30 (Back in service, send me an assignment)

Julie: Go to the Vo-----(Click, Click, Click) and pic-------- (Click, Click, Click)

Kirk: 10-9 (Repeat)

Julie: Go to th---(Click, Click) and pick u---(Click, Click, Click, Click)

Kirk: 10-9!

Julie: Go to th----(Click, Click, Click, Click, Click…)

Kirk: Some queers playing with the radio again.

Julie: What’s wrong with you!

The sad thing about Julie's question is that it wasn't directed at Kirk... In her eyes Kirk wasn't the problem.

I was sitting with another driver when this was all happening, waiting for a fare. We both got a chuckle. Calling people “queers” is a favorite past time of Kirk’s. It’s his favorite insult for sure. Other insults include calling people “Princess,” “Raghead,” “Asshole,” “Coward,” “Their highness” or “Sissy white people” - just to name a few. All of our customers and fellow drivers get to hear this as well because it is broadcast throughout our radio network. This is all ok in Catherine’s eyes since Kurt is a “good worker” because he works 12-hour days EVERY day of the year. A sociopath, but a “good worker” nevertheless. But boy, if I forget to wear my black pants, well then, that’s a disaster.

You all remember Kirk right?

July 4, 2008 – The 4th of July in Cortez

2008-07-04T19:17:00.000-07:00

I have mixed feelings about working on the 4^th of July. The money is good, but it’s oh so frustrating. Traffic everywhere, no parking, drunks everywhere, you name it. Especially here in Cortez. I hear that 500,000 people come here alone to watch the fireworks. You get a good view from the bay. Actually a great view – if you’re lucky enough to get to the front and get a seat. Sure beats watching them from National City. Or you may know National City by something else – “Nasty City, “National Tragedy”, “National Shitty”, “Nasty Shitty” and so on, you get the point. If you’ve been there you know what I’m talking about. Consequently we get a lot of rif-raf from there, Chula Vista “Chulajuana” too for that matter. Don’t send me the hate mail, they were nicknamed that long before I moved here.

It takes a good 30 minutes to get from one side of town to the other (which is only about 2 miles). It’s a mess. I had to take a break after a bit today. For an hour I took a break and shot some photos. There was absolutely no street parking. I just parked in an alley. It was hard to get a good spot but I made due. Had time to shoot a few photos, not my favorites, but they were fun to shoot.

After that I was back to work. Traffic had subsided a bit, but was still a disaster. When it was all said and done at 2:45 a.m. I had made $370 in fares in about 10 hours. No one had tried to fight me. No one had thrown up in my cab. Everyone had paid the fare, except this super drunk guy who tried to pay with a credit card for a $6 fare. That one was on me, it’s just not worth the time to mess around with a credit card when it’s that busy, it’s actually better just to pick up another fare believe it or not.

July 3, 2008 - Joshua Tree National Park

2008-07-03T20:35:00.000-07:00

Today I went to Joshua Tree State Park. I've heard great things over the years, I've just never took time to actually go. It was a nice drive, about two and a half hours or so. The park is filled with these spectacular rock formations. And that the trees that the park is named after. It's unfortunate, whenever I think of a Joshua Tree I remember that awful U2 album (which was called the Joshua Tree). These were a few of the photos that I shot earlier.

July 2, 2008 – Robert Pervantes

2008-07-02T20:18:00.000-07:00

I picked up this real oddball earlier, and to say that he was simply an oddball, well, that would be an understatement. His name was Robert. “Robert Pervantes.“

I was sent to 571 R Street in the alley to pick him up. In Cortez there are alley addresses and street addresses. Generally the more well-to-do people have street addresses. The alleys are reserved for smaller guesthouses and apartments primarily. Typically younger people who work in the service industry here in Cortez. Resturants, marinas, hotels, etc. Not many corporate folk. And occasionally weirdos… Today was no exception.

Me: Hi

Robert: Um, hello.

Me: Where are you off to?

Robert: Um, can we just drive around for a bit?

Me: Sure, but I have to give the dispatcher a final destination.

Robert: But could we just drive around.

Me: Sure whatever. I’ll just make something up, but you’ll have to pay the meter.

Robert: Ok

This already struck me as a little strange. Typically people don’t like to pay for cabs, which aren’t cheap by the way, to just drive around. This guy’s sure seems like a creeper. It would be exciting to get a fugitive. I’ve already had several geriatrics, it’s be nice to mix it up.

Robert: Can you go right here.

Me: Sure

Robert: (A block later) Could you take another right?

Me: Sure

Robert: (Another block later) Could you take a right here?

Me: …Ok

Robert: Slow down. Is that light on? Was there anyone in there?

Me: I don’t know.

Robert: Do you think he saw me?

Me: No, it’s dark out.

Robert: Are you sure?

Me: Yes

Then the conversation really started to get weird. He pulled out this camera with pictures of his sisters boyfriend on it, which appeared to have been taken surreptitiously, and asked for my take on them.

Robert: So do you think that this guy is hot?

Me: I wouldn’t know.

Robert: Oh, me either.

Me: ………

Robert: Can you make a left here?

Me: Sure

Robert: Can we make another left, and then the left after that too?

Me: Sure Robert.

Robert: Look the lights on in there. Can you see anyone in there, do you think that’s my sisters boyfriend?

Robert: So you don’t think he saw me?

Me: Well, I have one of my regular customers that I have to pick up, we should probably get heading back.

Robert: Oh, ok.

Me: (A few minutes later) $6.80.

Robert: Ok, I just have $7.00.

Me: That’s fine.

That’s quite a coincidence He had exactly (minus the 20 cents) what the meter was? What if we just kept driving, as he had requested, and the meter came out to $9.00? What would he have done then? Would he have brought exactly $9.00 with him. I really don't care if people tip me or not. Many people think that we do.

You’re really rolling the dice if you are taking cabs without having enough money to pay the fare. That’s something that might get you beat up. I’m pretty well natured, some of the other drivers not so much. Vincent’s a good example of that. Vinny probably would have stuck an icepick in him. After all, that’s his weapon of choice, or so he says…

From the sounds of things his sister wasn’t too fond of him either. Could it have been because here old pervy brother Robert keeps hitting on boyfriend?

July 1, 2008 – Just Another Day at Cortez Cab

2008-07-01T21:41:00.000-07:00

Business as usual....

June 30, 2008 – Julie Gets Worked Up

2008-06-30T21:56:00.000-07:00

Today Julie got a little worked up on the radio. Nothing like her usual tantrums though. Today she had the foresight to turn off the radio and cut her losses.

June 29, 2008 – Camping Urban Style

2008-06-29T19:30:00.000-07:00

I’ve noticed a good number of people out camping. They have tents and blankets laid out everywhere. A boisterous croud, shouting aloud, like a jovial lot. Usually after a few libations… They seem to congregate with other campers, lining the streets. Their unity seems to be contagious. Laying down on their blankets. Getting ready for a picnic perhaps. It sure would be nice to have the luxury, and freedom, to camp out every day… The freedom to not have to shower, to shave, to work. The freedom to go to the bathroom where ever you please. Even on the sidewalk.

June 28, 2008 – The Porn Star

2008-06-28T21:01:00.000-07:00

Today I picked up an interesting fare. He was a sailor who had done a few porn films in the past. He told me that he had done two of them. James was his name. James told me that being a porn star was not as glamorous as some might think. He told me that there was audition process, where you had to prove your worth. How that was determined, who knows… After you made the cut you had to start from the bottom, doing the shit that none of the seasoned porn actors had to do. Fat chicks, grannies, chicks covered in spaghetti… You get the picture. Yeah, I made that last one up – although with the internet there is surely a market for that kind of stuff. There’s some weird shit out there.

James told me that the money wasn’t that good, that the girls make all of the money. That he would be there for hours, and make around $100. Makes sense, surely there’s no shortage of men out who aspire to be porn stars. Hell, I’d imagine many of them would do it for free.

James ended up going to the mall, where most of the sailors go when they come into town. Usually to stock up on supplies. He told me that he enjoyed the conversation and wished to ride with me again. He told me that most of the drivers couldn’t or wouldn’t go on base. That many of them were dipshits, smelled bad, or didn’t speak English. Oh how I can relate…

June 25, 2008 – Another Traffic School

2008-06-25T22:16:00.000-07:00

They called it “Laugh for half” traffic school. Only 39.95, what a steal! I would have called it “Feeling down and out, go ahead, frown and pout.” I think that everyone should to go to traffic school at least once. It’s a right of passage, a lesson in humility. I don’t recommend that people attend half a dozen times like me. I feel like I should be the instructor. Whatever though, I deserved it. Live and learn right. After all, what could be better than being in La Mesa in a business park on a Saturday afternoon for 8 hours...

June 23, 2008 – Sliced Finger

2008-06-23T21:08:00.000-07:00

Today when I went to retrieve my radio from its mount on the dash I sliced my finger. There is a circular, steel, button like looking object on the back of my mic (the part of the radio that you speak into) that fits into a steel receiver on the dash. Over the years after repeated friction between the two parts the receiver had developed a razor sharp edge. In my haste I misaligned the two parts and guided my finger across the receivers edge. It was a pretty good slice actually. This was followed by an array of expletives that was as colorful as the people that work here.

June 21, 2008 – Vincent

2008-06-21T23:28:00.000-07:00

Today Vincent got a little agitated with the games on the radio. This happens fairly frequent these days. Music, fart noises, mocking other drivers, etc… Me, I don’t worry about it, I really don’t care. But man, some people really get worked up about it, especially Vincent.

Vincent used to be a dispatcher. It just became too much for him to handle – all of the games on the radio that is. The drivers would just taunt him relentlessly. I could just imaging him sitting in that tiny little office, just smoldering away. Infuriated.

When the drivers would start up with the noises he would say things like “That’s what your motha said” or “I’m gonna come down there and punch you in the mouth.” This would just add fuel to the fire. If Vincent thought that the noise was bad before… After a while Vincent was having nightly outbursts, cursing away at the drivers. Most of them just got a good laugh out of it.

Now that Vincent has been driving, instead of dispatching, things aren’t much better. About a week ago he had a breakdown. It wasn’t the first time… After being thoroughly provoked by his fellow cabbies, Vincent scoured the city with the intention of speaking to every single driver in an attempt to weed out the culprit. He just came to the cab stands, one by one, shouting things like “I don’t give a fuck about the job, the police, jail. If I find out who’s doing this I’m going to put them in the hospital!” “I don’t give a fuck, I’ll put them in the ground!” To say that he was mad would have been an understatement.

The only advantage for Vincent is that when he begins to lose his temper while driving he can just go home. When he was dispatching that wasn’t really an option. Today, despite his frustration, Vinny stayed. He just drove his passengers to their destination while calling the instigators “cowards.” Catherine wasn’t amused. A “landline” was requested…

June 20, 2008 - If These Walls Could Talk

2008-06-20T23:00:00.000-07:00

So today I took a day off of work to help a friend pick a couch in Palm Springs form his parents house. I found this house along the way that had been completely ransacked. I took some photos of what I found. I don't remember where exactly where I found this but it was somewhere near the edge of Riverside County off of route 60.

I left the scene with an empty feeling. Someone had thoughtlessly destroyed someone else's property. It was clear where their anger was directed. As they say, the "Writing's on the Wall."

There were these creepy childrens toys scattered about.

This was a bees nest had been formed in a hole created in the drywall.

Some creepy shit. I desatured the photo, but kept the red spray paint around the skull.

"Broken Homes"

June 20, 2007 - The New Job

2008-06-20T11:53:00.000-07:00

Ever since I moved to Southern California I have been in job hunt mode, until now. I found an advertisement for a cab company looking for airport shuttle drivers. From what I gather the job consists of picking up customers at the airport for a flat rate and bringing them to their destination. The drivers are paid an hourly rate that is often supplemented with tips from the passengers. After a talk with the company owner, Catherine, I was persuaded to work as a taxi driver, rather than a shuttle/livery driver. For now Catherine is going to pair me up with a seasoned cab driver so show me the ropes.

June 18, 2008 – El Mejor Strikes Again

2008-06-20T00:35:00.000-07:00

Julie: Franco, what’s your 20?

Julie: Franco!

Franco: In the lobby.

Julie: I sent you to the Navy base! Where are you?

Franco: In the lobby.

Julie: You’re supposed to go to the main gate, where are you!

Franco: Right here, in the lobby.

It didn’t take much to piece this one together. If nothing else because there’s no “lobby” at the main gate. Just a parking lot. Franco had been spotted shortly before picking up a ride that another driver had been sent for. If only his English skills were better he might have been able to offer up a better explanation. Stating that he was “In the lobby” just wasn’t cutting it. Shortly thereafter Catherine got on the radio to ask about Franco’s current whereabouts.

Catherine: Franco

Franco: Yes

Catherine: Franco, what’s your 20?

Franco: Right here in the lobby.

Catherine: (With a frustrated sigh) What’s your 20 Franco, there’s no lobby at the main gate.
Where are you?

Franco: Uh, I’m here, in the lobby.

It was at this point that the office gave up on the situation. It was obvious that Franco hadn’t gone to where he had been sent to, and it was also obvious that he was nowhere near any lobby. Things were tough for Franco the rest of the day…

June 19, 2008 – Eavesdropping

2008-06-19T22:33:00.000-07:00

I caught the office eavesdropping on me today. I don’t know if “caught” is the right word, they made it quite apparent.

One of our piece of shit cabs broke down on me AGAIN yesterday. An almost weekly occurrence at this point. This time it was a blown hose. I was just driving and all of the sudden noticed my temperature gauge indicator was in the red – not a good sign.

Perhaps I could have been alerted if the check engine light had not been covered up with a business card. Actually, I guess it wouldn’t have mattered, since it is always lit. That was surely the thinking behind putting the business card there. I think every car that I have driven so far had a check engine light the was permanently illuminated. To be fair, I’m sure that some of the cars have check engine lights that aren’t illuminated though – but only because they were left on so long that the bulb burnt out.

At any rate I thought it would be in my best interest to pull over right away. There was steam shooting up from the hood, which is what actually alerted me to the problem initially. Upon further inspection I saw that one of the hoses going to the radiator had blown and was spilling coolant into the street. I called the office and arranged for a replacement cab for the remainder of the day.

Today day I gave the office a call to check on the status of my car.

Julie: Cortez Cab

Me: Hey Julie, can I speak with Victoria?

Julie: Hold on.

Victoria: Hello, Victoria speaking.

Me: Hey Victoria, it’s *****. I was calling to see if there was any word on my cab.

Victoria: Hmmm, uh let me see, uh, which cab do you drive?

Me: Cab 44

Victoria: Yeah, it looks like you will be driving Cab 98 for the res--------

Catherine: Victoria I got it, I’ll take it from here.

Catherine: Hey *****. Yeah, right now your cab is in the shop. Were looking at it right now. Were checking the engine right now to see if we can save it.

Me: Ok, I’ll check back later on it. Thanks.

Catherine: Teeennnn Fooouuuurrrr

Why the guilt trip? There was no way that I could have foreseen that hose bursting. These things just happen. Actually most times when something does break on an automobile it’s completely spontaneous. I did exactly what I should have done by pulling over and letting the cab cool down.

And for the eavesdropping. I have no idea what the reason for that was. And could it been overdramatized anymore? I think not.

June 17, 2008 – Taxi Life’s Not All Sour Grapes

2008-06-17T23:01:00.000-07:00

More often than not I get good fares. Polite, respectful, intelligent people. Generally we get pretty good clientele. Mostly affluent locals, tourists, and people in town on business. They’re not all sailors.

I have a regular customer that I pick up. He’s in that navy, and is by no means a dipshit. His name is “Bob,” and he’s a vice admiral in the Navy. The upper echelon if you will. I enjoy talking with him, talking about the structured lifestyle that the Navy brings. Talking about his experiences over the years. Interesting stuff. Smart guy. I often pry, to see what I can find out. I get interesting little stories here and there. Jim sees my angle, and politely deflects my inquiries. The ones of a more sensitive nature at least. I admire him.

This is a picture of "Bob" that I found online.

Not like your typical enlisted guys, always talking about how drunk they were, or how many times they “scored.” Stories that are embellished more often than not. Especially the latter.

Typically these are narrated in some sort of elementary fashion. Their rudimentary vocabulary, usually consisting of several of the more common basic expletives or “cuss words.” Bitch, shit, cunt, asshole, fuck, and a range of slurs are often their favorites.

Just on my last ride I had three federal judges in my car. They worked on the civil side of things. Being somewhat versed on the topic of law, but by no means an expert, I found their conversation quite engaging. Intriguing. They dealt primarily with labor law and how discrimination becomes easily, and often subtly, intermingled within.

June 16, 2008 – Gomez Sr.

2008-06-16T20:54:00.000-07:00

Now that you know a little about Gomez Jr., it’s only fair that you know a little about Gomez Sr. as well. The father and son duo. They both live down in Tijuana. I believe Gomez Sr. raises chickens. He also does work on the internet, pay per click marketing/advertising or something like that. He only comes in to Cortez to drive cab when he needs to supplement his income. I forget, he may share the cab with his son.

I like Gomez Sr. He strikes me as a pretty honest guy, which unfortunately seems to be a rarity here at Cortez Cab, where dishonesty runs rampant. I like Gomez Jr. as well for that matter. Gomez Jr. is a bit of an oddball, constantly espousing his beliefs about how the government is plotting against us, watching us, controlling us. Just the other day he was pushing some documentary made by a couple of kids. “Loose Change” it was called. Some far left extremist psychobabble, reminiscent of Michael Moore.

Gomez Sr. told me a funny story today. He told me that Catherine had some issues with his dress. Who knows what he was wearing, probably jeans and a t-shirt or something. That’s what most drivers wear. Well Gomez wanted to make a statement, he wanted to look sharp. Gomez picked out a nice dress shirt, buttoned it up, and put on a tie. And what did he pair that up with might you ask? Well, he thought that would look nice tucked into a pair of sweatpants. He said that Catherine just took a look at him, waited a second, and told him that he looked “absolutely ridiculous.” For once she was right.

This was better than the story that Gomez Sr. told me shortly after I first met him. We were talking about the job and our backgrounds, probably about business that day. I don’t remember the specifics, but I do remember the vivid details that Gomez Sr. offered about his taste in women. Not sure how the topic was sparked, although surely by Gomez Sr., but he began to tell me about how he liked “girls with big hairy bushes.” Oh no, that wasn’t all. He told me how he liked them wet, and how he loved to eat them, and just rub his face in them. What was most astonishing was how cavalier he was about the whole thing. How he just segued into the topic, from something completely unrelated. I had no rebuttal…

I don’t think that would be something that I would share with someone who I’d probably met briefly only once before. Probably not at work. Probably not at all.

This is another one of Gomez Jr's videos. Gomez Sr., his father, comes in at around the 5:00 mark.

June 14, 2008 – Gomez Jr.

2008-06-14T16:19:00.000-07:00

Turns out I’m not the only driver who has outbursts on the radio. Today I heard a great one out of Gomez. Catherine has this obnoxious habit of trying to micromanage every move we make. When it gets busy it’s even worse – today we were busy.

So when we arrive back in Cortez, or drop off our passengers within the city limits and are available for fares once again, we tell the office that we are “On the bridge” (to Cortez) or that we’re “clear” (if we dropped off within the city limits.) Often when Catherine is dispatching she wants to know EXACTLY where we are. In all fairness, this is done to provide speedy service to customers, and it works well in theory.

When it is busy and a driver drops a passenger off making them available for a call once again, there are often several people who have already called the office to request a cab. It usually makes sense to send the driver to the closest call. There’s nothing wrong with efficiency. But there’s a difference between being efficient and manic. Gomez doesn’t like being micromanaged any more than I do…

Gomez: Cab 17

Catherine: Cab 17 go ahead

Gomez: I’m clear.

Catherine: Ok your clear wheeerrreee?

Gomez: By the beach.

Catherine: Which section of the beach are you clear at?

Gomez: (Annoyed) I’m clear at the beach.

Catherine: I need to know where on the beach you cleared.

Gomez: …BY THE TRASHCAN.

Catherine: ….Ok, go to 118 Tangerine St.

Gomez:10-4

Catherine: Teeeeennn Fooouuurrrrr

Good for Gomez. I got a good chuckle out of this whole exchange. What a ridiculous question. The beach is half a mile long, so if he was at the other far side of the beach it may take up to a minute longer to get to the next call – not a big deal.

Catherine isn’t too fond of Gomez. He doesn’t play ball in her eyes. A non-conformist. Once Catherine told another employee that she would rather get punched in the stomach than talk to Gomez. That doesn’t strike me as a compliment…

This is video that Gomez posted on the internet. Gomez currently lives in Tijuana (Mexico) because he claims that “In Mexico you’re still free.” He also claims that there is human shit in the streets. One of the drivers suggested that maybe it was dog shit. Gomez replied (with emphasis) “Oh no, these were big”.

Apparently in Mexico your neighbors have “angry goats” that terrorize your pets and damage your house. If that were not enough, people will come on to your land and steal your horse. Gomez had wanted a horse all his life. It was a dream of his, and someone stole it. Oh, and dinosaurs too – says Gomez. Perhaps Mexico isn’t marketing itself right. Maybe the theme should something like “Come visit Mexico, and experience the land before time.”

For those of you who aren't familiar with "The Land Before Time", it is a popular childrens movie from the late 1980's.

June 13, 2008 - The Navy...

2008-06-13T09:24:00.000-07:00

This is why none of the drivers really like getting fares from the Navy base. Actions speak louder than words...

I like how Bob got irritated and called him "Joe."

June 12, 2008 – Our Mechanic Stanley

2008-06-12T21:50:00.000-07:00

Before me with a not so bright look on his face stands our mechanic Stanley cackling away. I can’t help but stare at the three metal screws sticking out of his upper jaw. There are no teeth, just the three metal spikes that likely held them at some point. Man, meth must be a hell of a drug… He thinks that the company is a big pile of crap as well so we have something in common.

I don't have a picture of "Stanley", but this is what he'd look like with a beard...

Nice guy when he isn’t stealing our gas and causing us to lose time at work from the new parts that Catherine buys, when she actually decides to buy new parts, and replacing them with old. Sometimes the parts he puts in are broken to begin with.

One of our drivers, Jefferson, was having issues with the battery in his taxi. Jefferson came to the determination that it needed a new battery. He took the time to bring his taxi to the shop and that did whatever it is that they do there and replaced the battery, or so he was led to believe… The problem kept occurring and Jefferson kept bringing the taxi to the shop for battery related problems. On the fourth trip Jefferson was pretty irritated and asked Stanley personally about the problem. It was at this juncture that Stanley simply giggled and nonchalantly admitted that he had never changed the battery.

What Stanley had been doing was merely washing the battery to make it appear to new, while doing who knows what with the new batteries, and telling Catherine that the car had been fixed. I’m willing to bet that he was selling them and keeping the money, while Jefferson was getting screwed out of time at work that he could have been making money, not to mention the frustration of dealing with the office.

Then there’s the side business of stealing gas. It’s fairly obvious, one of the other mechanics even volunteered that he saw Stanley doing this first hand. Not too long ago I brought my taxi into the shop for a repair. I brought it in with a full tank of gas. When I got my cab back there was only two thirds of a tank left. So I called the office.

Me: Hi Catherine, I picked up my car from the shop yesterday and it was short of gas. I’ll go ahead and submit a receipt for the shortage when I pay my lease.

Catherine: *****, when we fix something on a car we take it for a test drive to make sure it has been fixed.

Me: $27 worth? Where did he test drive it to?

Catherine: Ok *****, I’ll credit you this time.

What a sweetheart. I guess it would be too much to admit that her mechanic is stealing our gas by siphoning it out of our cars. I’m not the only driver who has complained about this by the way. Surely if I made a direct accusation Catherine would want some concrete proof like video evidence or something. I mean why fix problems when you can just deny them right? That seems to be the trend.

In addition to selling parts and stealing gas. Stanley makes his money selling shitty weed, he has a big jar that he keeps it in over at the shop. I’d never buy weed from Stanley, actually I’d be reluctant to buy anything that he has had his grubby hands on. Apparently this isn’t enough to pay his debtors though.

A few days ago a few large men came to the office and had a word with Stanley off in the distance. I wasn’t there that day but Jefferson saw the whole thing. Stanley was just getting SCREAMED AT!

Jefferson: What was that about?

Stanley: I owe those guys some money. It’s been a bit and they’re not happy.

Jefferson: How much do you owe them?

Stanley: $200

Jefferson: That sounds bad. Here’s $200. You can pay me back next week.

Stanley: Thanks so much Jefferson.

Jefferson’s a stand up guy. It pains me to see people like Jefferson working here. Someone with so much potential. Why am I still here anyways? I can’t stand these clowns. I actually got offered a job with the government a while back, but the pay was shit. Here I stand, the master of reflection. So many questions…

Who knows what would have happened to Stanley if he didn’t pay those men. Although, if he isn’t able to pay two large angry men, I don’t know what the chances of him paying Jefferson back are…

June 8, 2008 – Mocking the foreigners

2008-06-08T19:01:00.000-07:00

Catherine called me today with another complaint about my attitude. This time it was about mocking Franco’s inability, or unwillingness, to learn English. You may remember Franco from of my earlier stories – you know, “El Mejor.”

I can imagine that it can be a little overwhelming coming to a new country. Learning a new culture, a new language. Certainly this isn’t something that can be done over night. It takes years, if not decades to master. But after 25 years, I think most people would have a pretty firm grasp on it. Through immersion if nothing else. By then I would have to imagine that most people would have realized that, at the very least, in addition to a “past tense” we also have a “present” and “future” tense. If only El Mejor was as good at conjugating verbs as he was at stealing fares from his fellow drivers…

Julie: Cab 44

Me: Go ahead

Julie: There’s a lady that needs to be picked up at the Shores.

Me: At the “Shor-ez”?

Julie: AT THE SHORES!

Me: Oh, ok. 10-4, I am copy.

Julie: WHAT!

Me: I say, 10-4, I am copy. Are you copy me?

Julie: YES!

This was enough to prompt a call from the office. I don’t see the need to go into that, they’re all the same.

June 7, 2008 – Juicio

2008-06-07T00:31:00.000-07:00

Got a good laugh on the radio tonight. Actually, I pretty much get a good laugh on the radio every night, more than anything by the idiocy surrounding things at this taxi company. I feel like a neglected vegetable, perhaps the only wholesome thing in this big soupy idiot stew I like to call Cortez Cab. Masked, overpowered by the salty, fatty meat. I feel like a carrot, slowly being saturated by the broth, unable to escape, slowly turning into one of them. Perhaps the company should be likened to an Italian dish rather , after all, there are no shortage of meatballs here. Yet, I digress.

Juicio – Eeehhhhhh Caaaab 54

Juicio – Caaab 54 (2 seconds later)

Juicio – Caaab 54, are you hear me. (Another 2 seconds later)

Julie - YES! WAIT A MINUTE

Juicio – Why do you no answer me when I call you.

Julie – BECAUSE YOU DIDN’T GIVE ME A CHANCE TO ANSWER!

Juicio – Ehhhhhh I don----------

Julie – WHAT!

Juicio – Why are you n--------

Julie – Someone’s clicki-------

Julie – ST------ IT

Juicio – Ok y------ co--- talk t----

So yeah, as you probably guessed, one of the other drivers is playing with the radio, interrupting the transmission. This went on for a bit, I don’t feel the need to elaborate, by now you’ve probably caught onto the theme.

Julie is probably sitting in her miniature office chair cursing up a storm, and when I say that the chair is miniature, I am speaking in relative terms. And Juicio, well, he’s just unable to realize that he’s a problem. Like a toddler actually. In retrospect I don’t know if it’s fair for Julie to be yelling at him in the first place. For all intents and purposes, Juicio is a toddler – would you yell at a toddler? Well, I probably would, I absolutely hate children. But is yelling at a toddler beneficial? I’d say probably not.

Myself, well I believe in positive reinforcement. Maybe if Juicio is able to relax when calling in and not get Julie all riled up he could get a piece of candy, or something shiny. I think that there’s tinfoil laying around at the office – a handy tool for car repairs here at the company. Perhaps some of the omnipresent wood screws, I’m sure that there are a few that have loosened and fallen into my door. All these wood screws. Perhaps I’m missing something, could they serve some ornamental purpose?

Now doesn't that look fancy. Those wood screws serve as a nice contrast to all the grime on the control panel.

June 5, 2008 – Dauf

2008-06-05T20:59:00.000-07:00

Julie: Cab44
Me: Go Ahead

Julie: Go pick up at the main gate (of the navy base).

Me: 10-4

It takes me a few minutes to get here because I was on the other side of town. Whenever the dispatcher gives you a call it’s best to head straight there. All of the radios in our cabs function as a network, so every transmission that is broadcast, between whoever, is heard by everyone in the network. Also, often times by listening to the radio you can figure out where the other drivers are. Today Dauf was listening.

Dauf heard Julie give me a that call a few minutes and thinks that he is closer. Instinctively, Dauf has decided to try and take the call that was given to me. It’s nothing personal, he does this to everyone. He's just a bastard, that's all. I might not have explained this already, but when the dispatcher sends you to a certain location to pick up a passenger, and you acknowledge her/him, then it is your ride/fare – no one else’s. It has been given to you, and everyone knows it because it is transmitted throughout the network. If you want to give it to someone because they are closer, or because they ask you if they can pick it up, well that’s up to you. That’s your prerogative.

There are a number of ways that some of the other drivers try and get around this – by saying that they were already there (which often times they aren’t), saying that the passenger was insistent on leaving immediately, that they didn’t hear the radio (everyone listens to the radio), that the person that they picked up didn’t call, and so on. None of these excuses are very believable. Dauf gave a good example of this today.

So as I arrive at the navy base to pick up my passenger I see Dauf a hundred feet or so in front of me trying to pick up my passenger.

Me: Dauf, what are you doing.

Me: Dauf, that’s my ride

Dauf: What?

Dauf: This guy, were you sent here?

Me: Yes Dauf, but you already know that don’t you.

Dauf: He said he didn’t call. Do you want him.

Me: Yes Dauf, I’ll take my call.

It wasn’t a great ride. About $14. Nothing to scoff at. More than anything it’s the principle of the matter. You just don’t steal from your co-workers. Unless they have previously stolen from you. I believe in retribution. The company believes in passivity. Well let me tell you, passivity gets you nowhere in the cab racket.

June 4, 2008 – The Garbage House

2008-06-04T21:43:00.000-07:00

Just got a call. Von’s grocery store in the back. Typically these are not good calls, god bless em’, but usually they are some senior citizen that is going for a ride of less than half a mile – hence, a bad ride. Most people seem to think that we like these short rides. WE DO NOT. Sometimes we sit around for 3 hours on a slow day waiting to get a ride, so if we get a ride from the grocery store for 6 blocks and make 6 dollars, that means that we have just made 2 dollars per hour for the last three hours, not to mention that we have to pay roughly $60 per day to use the taxi. So, it’s more like we just paid $54 dollars to become frustrated. I’m no math whiz but that just doesn’t add up in my book. Usually they are nice little old ladies though so you cant really be mad at them, anyways that’s what we are here for I guess.

Well, this isn’t just some little old lady. This is the grumpy, old bag that lives at 432 E. Street. We’ll call her Lois. We all hate picking her up. She knows that the fare is exactly 5 dollars to her house, so she demands to be paid up front (which we aren’t required to do since the meter goes by time as well as distance), makes you fold up her walker and put it into the trunk, and complains the whole way home about something or another. This time was no exception…

Once one of our drivers named Roldando brought her home a few days ago, but started the meter as soon as he got to the grocery store and it ran as he loaded her and her belongings into the car. When he got to her house it was $7.60 and she wasn’t paying. I heard that he called the cops, I’d love to have seen that. I kind of doubt that actually happened, but nothing shocks me with this company anymore.

Another time one of our drivers, Jefferson, dropped her off at her house and walked her to the door. When he peeked inside there were just boxes and boxes everywhere. And it smelled like cat shit. Just like in that TV show “Hoarders.” For those of you who don’t know, “Hoarders” is a cable television show about people who have basically given up on life (mostly obese old women) and how they are living in squalor. They collect, and save, pretty much everything that they can get their hands on. Sometimes they find dead cats under underneath piles of rubble. When Jefferson dropped Lois off she noticed that he had caught a glance of her lair.

Lois: Someone’s coming to clean that up tomorrow

Jefferson: (With a suspicious nod) Mmmm hmmm.

From how the place had been described, it would have looked something like this.

Jefferson said that it looked like the place hadn’t been cleaned in years. What are the chances that the place was scheduled to be cleaned after years of neglect immediately after an outsider caught a peek inside? What a coincidence…

June 3, 2008 – Cannonball!

2008-06-03T20:37:00.000-07:00

This is hilarious. I don't ever remember watching this but I believe it used to be an old MTV skit. Something that they would play during commercial breaks. It pains me to see what comes to mind when people think of your typical cab driver - or perhaps your quintessential cab driver...

June 2, 2008 – The Hidden Compartment

2008-06-02T20:29:00.000-07:00

Thump, thump, thump…

That’s never a good sign. I exited the taxi and took a look around. It was a flat tire, as I had suspected. I really hate changing tires, especially on these cars. They’re filthy. With tires like these it’s no surprise that there are blowouts.

So here I am, staring blankly into an empty trunk. Oh sure there were things in there, just nothing useful. There was Windex, some old oily rags, and a musty smell. Oh yeah, there was a shitty old spare tire – but once again, nothing useful. I pull out the spare, which was pretty low on air, not much better than my flat tire I might add. But there’s a problem, there’s no jack. That’s sort of an important step – to jack up the car. To my surprise there was a tire iron. I call the office.

Me: Hi Julie, is Catherine there?

Julie: Ugh, hold on.

Catherine: Hello

Me: Hey Catherine, it’s *****

Catherine: What’s the problem?

Me: I have a flat tire and there doesn’t seem to be a jack in the car.

Catherine: Did you check the trunk?

Me: …Yes Catherine, I looked in the trunk.

Catherine: Did you check in the side compartment?

Me: Well, I’m not exactly sure where that is but I’ve looked everywhere in the trunk.

Catherine: I’ll come over.

So this took a good 45 minutes or so. It probably took so long because she let Earl driver her over. I’d never get behind the wheel with that guy, some of Cortez’s residents feel that way as well. Yeah, he’s still driving people around in his late 80’s. Unreal. And what the fuck was with her asking if I had looked in the trunk? I just wanted to say something like “No, I’ve just been looking in the glove box” or “I already checked my pockets, I don’t know where else it could be.” Give me a little credit.

So Catherine walks over to the trunk, grabs a felt panel, and peels it back. No shit, there’s a secret compartment in the trunk. I never would have found this. Turns out that I’m not the only driver who has had issues looking for the jack here. How am I supposed to know about this. There’s no marking, labeling, or visible seam to hint that there is a hidden compartment. Catherine just gave me a funny look as if I wasted her time, and truthfully I did, but if she had just explained a little better this all could have been prevented.

Luckily I had brought a change of clothes with me – namely a black shirt. Catherine has adopted a uniform policy where drivers can wear black pants and a white, black or yellow collared shirt. Not many of the drivers follow this. I usually wear t-shirts because they are more comfortable. I’ve never once heard a customer complain about what I was wearing. Catherine claims that customers complain about how I am dressed all the time. Really, a clean t-shirt and jeans? I drive a taxi not a limo.

I’m not sure exactly who it is, but it’s become fairly obvious that Catherine has drivers that keep and eye on things for her. Most likely one of the daytime drivers, there’s quite a few ass kissers during the day that try to get brownie points from the office. They mainly keep watch for unimportant things like who is wearing the required company uniform. The office used to send one of the workers out on surveillance missions with a camera to take a picture of anyone who wasn’t wearing the “official colors.” There are some drivers who wear the same black shirt, or white or yellow for that matter, for days on end. By the third or fourth day they are covered with b.o. and stains from eating on the road. This is all ok though…

June 1, 2008 – A Fistful of Dollars

2008-06-01T18:35:00.000-07:00

Today I brought a group of Asians to the Airport. What part of Asia they were from, that I’ll never know. They looked like they were from Japan perhaps? They were talking amongst themselves on the way there, I have no idea what about. They were most likely here for the biotech convention. Our convention center is enormous, sometimes we get conventions upwards of 120,000 people. That’s our biggest one at least. It’s called “Comic Con.”

This is a photo I shot from the San Diego Convention Center a while back. I'm facing Northeast. Truthfully I'd wished that it had turned out a little better, you don't get those rich dark skies when there are clouds. They seem to trap the light which gives everything an orangish glow, and a warmer color temperature. This is also due in large part to sodium vapor light typically found in street lamps. Tungsten bulbs give off a whiter/cooler look (the lights inside of the railing) and are, in my opinion, much more pleasing for night photography. These color casts can be minimized by shooting in black and white at night. The same photo is pictured below, in black and white. I used photoshop and bumped up the brightness a bit and toned down the highlights (the lights on the staircase). There are like four huge staircases going up to the top.

When we got to the airport they were frantically digging around I their pockets. They just gave me a handful of money, probably $25 or so. The fare was $23.60. Then they gave me another handful, and another, and another. They thanked me over and over and scurried out of the car. It took me a minute to straighten out all of the crumpled bills. When it was over I came away with $63. It was a good day.

May 29, 2008 – The USS Richard Millhouse Nixon

2008-05-29T23:32:00.000-07:00

Recently we have had some visitors come to Cortez, in the form of an aircraft carrier – The USS Richard Millhouse Nixon. Well, as you may have suspected, it’s not really called the “Nixon,” but that’s what were going to call it. Capiche? I digress.

There she is "The Nixon."

The Nixon is here due to a set of unforeseen circumstances. My understanding is that the Nixon was sailing somewhere around South America when a massive fire erupted in one of the ships compartments. The ship survived, but there was extensive damage. For some reason or another the Nixon was docked here in San Diego to be repaired. I understand that it will take months, and millions upon millions of dollars. What caused this fire might you ask? Oh, well it was a sailor(s) that were smoking in a room near flammable substances.

I don’t mind though, this surely will bring good business for weeks to come. Rides to the strip clubs if nothing else. Those sailors love their strip clubs. I’ve actually compiled a list of the most commonly requested destinations by sailors over the last 2 months – in order of occurrence.

1. Horton Plaza Mall (San Diego)

2. The Little Club Bar (Cortez)

3. The Yardhouse (Downtown San Diego)

4. Déjà vu (Pt. Loma Branch)

5. Hooters (Downtown San Diego)

6. Dave and Busters (Mission Valley)

7. The Gaslamp (Downtown San Diego)

8. AT&T Store (Downtown San Diego)

9. Starbucks (Cortez)

10. Mc P’s Bar (Cortez)

I admire their simplistic lifestyle.

May 17, 2008 – Malik

2008-05-17T22:41:00.000-07:00

One of the drivers has been causing me a bit of a headache lately. Malik is his name.

Julie: Cab 44

Me: Cab 44

Julie: Go to the Lowes to pick up

Me: 10-4

Malik: I’m closer, can I have that call.

Me: Thank you Malik, but I’m already on my way.

Malik: I’m closer, I should get it.

Julie: Fine take it Malik!

This is a bunch of shit. I was given that call and he isn’t much closer (at least where he says he is). The office likes to give calls to whoever is closest usually. This isn’t really fair in my opinion – especially when you get dishonest drivers who claim that they are somewhere that they are not. Malik is no exception. As usual, Catherine’s rationale for this is rooted in irrationality.

Ever waited for a cab? Sure you have, it takes a long time right? Possibly 30 minutes? This is unheard of in Cortez. You NEVER have to wait more than 15 minutes, and even that is rare. Usually it is anywhere from 2 – 6 minutes. So if Malik was where he said that he was he would have probably gotten there about 1 – 2 minutes earlier than I would have. I can’t imagine that many people would be up in arms about this. I don’t think anyone’s going to be that angry about their cab taking 8 minutes instead of 6… But drivers that keep a pee jug and chicken bones under their car seat, smell like shit, and work 90 hour work weeks, oh that’s fine though…

Problem was that he wasn’t there, he was directly behind me in traffic. Malik was caught in another lie.

Me: Hey Malik, what’s your 20 (your location)?

Malik: I’m almost there.

Me: Really, you’re right behind me.

Malik: I don’t know you are talking about.

Me: I think you do. Looks like you were lying.

Later I saw Malik and the cab stand and he came out and smiled and asked why I was giving him a hard time. I explained that I was giving him a hard time because what he was doing pretty much amounted to stealing from me. He didn’t feel the need to apologize, or even admit any wrongdoing. This really steamed me. Being questioned why I pointed out that he was breaking the rules? How dare I!

Not really sure why I bother though, there seems to be no punishment here for this sort of thing. Catherine just pretends that things like this don’t happen. If that weren’t bad enough she’s bold enough to suggest that I misinterpreted the situation. To say that there is nothing that she could or would do about it would be one thing. But to try to convince me the perhaps I am imagining these things, or worse, that I am the real problem by pointing out Malik's misbehavior over the radio – well that’s just insulting. Perhaps what is most frustrating is that problems like this could easily be fixed, if nothing else sitting the driver down and having a word with them. Just letting them know that this won’t be tolerated would probably be sufficient in most cases. A system of write-ups perhaps, you know like how normally functioning companies operate? The key word here is “functioning.”

May 15, 2008 – T-Boned

2008-05-15T00:45:00.000-07:00

Saw this old lady get t-boned at an intersection earlier. I’m not making light of the situation – she was fine. Probably a little stirred up though. It must have been a little hard to see through those giant coke bottle glasses. I’m glad that she wasn’t hurt, or anyone else for that matter. Both cars were pretty smashed up though.

The lady, Nancy as we’ll call her, just shot right across traffic. No hesitation whatsoever. I was just a little behind the car that hit her. He wasn’t going too fast, probably 20 mph or so. He hit the tail end of her car and spun it 90 degrees clockwise. Nancy didn’t even look, it didn’t even seem like she knew that there were other cars on the road. If I had been another 30 feet further up the road I would have hit her, there would have been no time to stop.

Nancy looked like she was in her 80’s. Sure old people have to the right to drive on the road too, but when you don’t realize that you’re not the only one out there… Then there’s a problem.

I’m surprised that she made it across the first lane of traffic. The road that she was crossing was a one way in each direction with a median for a staging area to wait for traffic on the other side to clear. Usually, since the road is quite busy, you cross the first one way and sit idling in the median until you are clear to cross the other one way. It’s not too confusing. I find this a little unnerving that there are people this oblivious out there on the road.

Nancy never even turned her head to look. She was on a mission.

May 14, 2008 - The San Diego Zoo

2008-05-14T21:32:00.000-07:00

Just a few pictures I took at the San Diego Zoo today. Although if I wanted to see animals I could have just went into work. The ones at the Zoo seem much more civil though.

May 13, 2008 – The Smell Test

2008-05-13T09:49:00.000-07:00

So the other day one a customer complained that one of our taxi’s was not up to par. Seems that the particular cab that they rode in was stinky. Not a stretch by any means… What was the office’s solution might you ask? Well it was to have all the cabs come in one by one for a “Smell Test.” Although surely it wasn’t coined as such by the office…

Yep. The drivers were called into the office one by one by Julia, yet another of the offices many grossly obese office workers, so that they could be sniffed individually in an attempt to pinpoint the culprit. What a solution! How scientific!

Not only were a large number of drivers alienated, but the problem wasn’t solved. As usual, the office failed to notice the obvious…

1. It was probably the driver that smelled.

2. The taxi may have only smelled that day due to something that had been spilled, someone had thrown up, or whatever.

3. Realizing that their cabs were going to be inspected the drivers cleaned/deodorized their cabs prior to coming in.

After passing the “smell test” the drivers were free to return to work. Later one of the disenfranchised drivers gave me their thoughts on the current state of affairs at Cortez Cab with what I found to be a humorous acronym for what they felt that the term cab really stood for – Complacency, Animosity, Belittlement.

May 12, 2008 – The $100 tip

2008-05-12T00:58:00.000-07:00

Got a call from Catherine earlier today...

Me: Hello

Catherine: Hi

Long pause…

Catherine: It’s Catherine

Me: I know.

Another long pause…

I’m not sure why every call from Catherine needs to start out this way. It’s as if she is just waiting for me to volunteer something or another. It’s a little strange, especially after the first few calls. I don’t take the bait.

Catherine: Were you working at 3:30 a.m. last night?

Me: Yes

Catherine: Do you remember that?

Me: I remember working at that time.

Cathereine: Did you pick up someone at 321 Main Street and go to 123 Second Street?

Me: Yeah

Catherine: They said that they accidentally gave you $100

Me: No they didn’t, I think I’d remember that.

Catherine: Are you sure, they’re adamant that they gave you $100.

Me: I think I’d remember that.

Catherine: Could you check your trip sheet to see how much they paid you?

I don’t see the point of that. I’ve already made it clear that I hadn’t received a $100 bill, and further explained that if I did that it was something that I would have remembered.

Me: Truthfully I’m pretty lax about keeping those.

Catherine: There’s a problem right there. It is imperative that we keep trip sheets.

Me: Ok, I’ll do that from now on.

Imperative?

Perhaps I should have responded with something along these lines –

“Affirmative. The requisite level of comprehension has been established. How shall I proceed?”

May 11, 2008 – Party Cab

2008-05-11T00:54:00.000-07:00

Today a cab patron of mine told me that there is a driver downtown who calls his taxi “Party Cab.” I guess that there’s a spinning disco ball dangling from the ceiling and loud music. Oh, and drinking too, and not just by the passengers. The driver drinks too. He’s in there slamming beers with the passengers. What the fuck? I can only imagine how many laws are being broken by that guy…

The passengers think that this is cool too, at least the ones that I talked to. I guess the guy that drives “Party Cab” is some hippy that’s been driving a cab for years downtown. From what they described he sounds like a real space cadet. The creepy old guy that goes to the high school parties. To each their own, but I think the first thing that I would look for in a taxi driver was that they were sober? Otherwise what’s the point of me taking a taxi? I could save a lot of time and money by driving around drunk myself.

May 10, 2008 – Jorge’s Junk Mail

2008-05-10T22:18:00.000-07:00

I heard another funny story about Lenny today. Turns out that Lenny receives mail for Jorge. Jorge lives in Tijuana (big surprise), when he isn’t living in the taxi that is. I’m guessing to work for the taxi company he has to have a United States address listed as his place of residence. You might think that speaking English and showering were requirements as well. Not so.

Lenny collects Jorge’s mail for him – and sells it to him, for a dollar per item. What a nice guy that Lenny is. Real sweetheart. Even the junk mail, although I doubt that Jorge get’s too many credit card offers. I bet the supermarket circulars don’t waste their time with him. He must not know about P.O. boxes. Jorge doesn’t strike me as someone who get’s many important letters. I doubt many people probably know he’s even alive. I didn’t know myself till I saw him moving in the taxi.

What can you get for a dollar nowadays anyways? I'm fully aware of the rudimentary nature of my drawings and I don't care, I think they're cute. Catherine, probably not so much...

May 9, 2008 – CHiPs

2008-05-09T21:36:00.000-07:00

And the award for worst penmanship goes to…

Well, it goes to this son of a bitch. I wish I could read his name. I’d like to write him a nice letter. Actually he was very nice, I’m just bitter about yet another ticket.

I gave him a good laugh. I was singing in my car as I was speeding down the freeway, a deserted freeway I might add, in the middle of the desert. Just outside of El Centro, the shitty little hick town that it is.

Officer: Do you know why I stopped you?

Me: Yeah

Officer: Do you know how fast you were going?

Me: More or less.

Officer: Ok

Me: So what are my options with this?

Officer: Well you can pay your ticket, or you can call the number on the back

of the ticket here and they will arrang---

Me: Sorry, I was hoping to get traffic school. I was wondering what my options were for that.

Officer: You won’t be eligible for traffic school at the speed I clocked you, but I didn’t sign the ticket yet. I could put that you were going 10 mph slower. That would make you eligible…

Me: That would be much appreciated.

Officer: You saw me back there didn’t you?

Me: No, I didn’t see until you pulled me over.

Officer: Yeah, I thought you saw me when I clocked you. It looked like you shouted “Fuck..”

Me: No, I was actually singing.

Officer: Yeah, I was behind you for a full mile or so.

By the way, “appreciated” is an underused word nowadays. Give it a try, and say it with sincerity. People love to be appreciated. Perhaps I realize this now more so since I work in such an underappreciated profession. Taxi drivers keep people from killing other people on the road, from getting DUI’s, providing, at times, the only way for people to get from one point to another.

Catherine has this policy where drivers have to tell her about any encounter that they have with law enforcement regarding moving violations, any violation involving a vehicle for that matter, regardless if the driver is engaged in company business or not. Why would I do that? What benefit would that serve? I’ve talked to drivers who say that Catherine just tries to use this as leverage when they get into trouble - for whatever. She told me that it is so that she knows all of the facts and that she can be more effective in defending us when the City of Cortez wants to revoke our taxi permit.

That’s absolute nonsense. Catherine has no pull with the courts. She can’t even corral a few rouge employees. All that the city cares about is that you don’t have too many points on your license. I don’t know the specifics, but I think it may even have to be suspended by the California Department of Motor Vehicles before you aren’t able to drive a taxi. Bottom line is that I got this in my personal car and I’m not going to tell her. I’m sure that I’m not the only one.

April 18, 2008 – Lenny

2008-04-18T10:12:00.000-07:00

So let me tell you about Lenny… Lenny’s been with the company for some time now, as is reflected by his attitude. There seems to be a correlation between the amount time a driver has been with the company and their morale. A positive correlation I might add. And lets not get a positive correlation confused with a positive attitude. At any rate, suffice it to say that Lenny isn’t too happy with things here at Cortez Cab.

Lenny isn’t exactly an ideal employee, in Catherine’s eyes at least. I have to admit that it’s becoming less and less clear exactly what that is nowadays… Lenny gives me a good laugh though. I like him and he’s a nice guy. Not to be confused with an honest guy though.

I picked up a lady from 123 Tangerine Avenue the other day, who we'll call Mrs. Smith. Nice lady. Our conversation quickly centered on a particular driver.

Me: Hi

Mrs. Smith: Hello, how are you.

Me: I’m well. Where are you off to?

Mrs. Smith: I’m going to the airport. Southwest please.

Me: Sure

Mrs. Smith: You seem like a nice driver. Who’s the ***** guy who drives the van?

Me: That’s Lenny. Why do you ask?

Mrs. Smith: He tried to steal $100 from my son last time he went to the airport.

Me: That doesn’t surprise me in the least. Unfortunately Lenny is known for that sort of thing.

Mrs. Smith: He took my son to the airport and was given $100. (The fare was probably about $24 at this point. My son gave asked for $70 back. He said that he got out of the taxi and started to walk to Lenny’s window after getting his bags out and Lenny just drove off. My son called me what happened and I called the company and told them to send the taxi that picked up my son back to my house so that I could have a word with him. When the driver got here I told him that I would take the entire hundred dollars back. He didn’t say anything. He just gave me the money and walked back to his car.

Me: Yeah, our boss is well aware of the behavior of some of our employees. I apologize for that. I can’t believe that he though that your son wouldn’t notice.

Mrs. Smith: He stole that money.

Me: I’m sorry about that. Here’s my card, so if you want you can call me directly.

Mrs. Smith: Thank you. I will do that.

Another dissatisfied customer. Lenny’s lucky that she didn’t call Catherine, or the police for that matter. In addition to most likely violating some company policy (Although I suppose you could plead ignorance on this one since there are no defined company policies) and being dishonest, Lenny committed theft.

Why is there no formal written company policy anyways? I’ve never heard of such a thing. It’s like Catherine just makes up rules on the fly. Also, then an employee can’t say that something isn’t violating company policy – because there isn’t one! It’s purely discretionary. If something is completely discretionary I would think that it might make sense to have a someone who isn’t off balance making judgment calls.

One time one of our drivers was pulling into one hotels when a man on bicycle was flying down the street not paying attention and crashed right into the side of the taxi. The bicycler hit it so hard that the front fork on his bike broke. The police came, it was quite a scene. The bicycler was adamant that it was not the taxi drivers fault. Oh did I mention that the guy on the bicycle was drunk?

None of this dissuaded Catherine however. How did she react? She reacted by castigating the driver for not being more careful and tried to instate a new policy so that drivers couldn’t cross the street to go into the hotel drive anymore. They would have to leave the taxi stand, drive up the street to the stop light, wait there until they got their green arrow (which can take 3 minutes sometimes), make a U-turn, and turn into the hotel. How fucking silly is that? And how does that insure that an accident would be avoided anyways? I would have to think that a U-turn is a more dangerous maneuver than a left turn. I think most rational people would agree. All the drivers got a good laugh about this one. I don’t think one single driver complied.

(I couldn't find a map that was big enough and not color coded. The coding is due to the fact that it's a zoning map. Just ignore that.)

Also, the hotel has a reputation for being impatient, and if we aren’t able to get there immediately then they are likely to just put the fare in an out of town cab. This is illegal because we are the only company that currently is allowed to pick up within the city limits of Cortez. Not because we have a “monopoly” as our mushy headed owner believes.

This is not to say that all of our drivers play by the rules either, although I believe that the misconduct on our sided is due in large part to situation such as the one at the hotel.

When Lenny drops someone off at the airport he looks to see if anyone else needs a ride. This is strictly forbidden. Not only by Catherine, but by the City of San Diego as well. Taxi drivers need a special permit to pick up at the airport, and probably an additional one to pick up in San Diego (Since the airport is within the city limits). If Lenny doesn’t find anyone at first glance he’ll simply circle the terminal until he finds a fare.

April 16, 2008 – The Crazy Lady Going To I.B.

2008-04-16T22:15:00.000-07:00

Picked up this real nut earlier. She didn’t look like your typical weather beaten crazy on the street. She actually seemed pretty normal at first. Well dressed, articulate, polite, didn’t smell. It’s always nice when your cab fares don’t smell, and for the most part they don’t. Except if they’re in the Navy. Then they usually do.

So this lady was pleasant, and going to Imperial Beach. Probably a $30 ride or so. Anything over like $12 I consider to be a good ride. The lady, who we’ll call “Beatrice”, was quite talkative. Lots of questions, which I don’t mind, unless they are about “Taxicab Confessions” or “Cash Cab.” I hate those questions.

Beatrice was going off on and on about all of these backdoor political scandals, that apparently only she was privileged to know about. The stories all seemed pretty feasible, and I didn’t really have any way of knowing because she was talking about CEO’s of major, but lesser known companies, and how they were all engaged in malfeasance in some form or another. This was all premised by the “fact” that she was a lawyer, or an attorney as I believe they like to be called. I thought that I heard that “lawyer” has a negative connotation attached to it.

Regardless. So as Beatrice keeps blabbering away I began to wonder. First off, I don’t think lawyers are allowed to tell me about on going criminal cases. I would just smile and nod. That’s really the best way to deal with people like this. Then she dropped the bomb on me. She had “people” that were on to her. After all, she was on to them. She knew about their surreptitious dealings. She told me that she could be killed for talking about this, yet she just kept blabbing away. And what was the bombshell might you ask…? Well it was that she had $20,000,000,000 in secrets stemming from political pawns to the upper echelons of Congress, and even the White House, sitting I a safety deposit box somewhere in San Diego. That’s not a typo – 20 Billion.

Really? So why are you renting, in Imperial Beach of all places, in some run-down apartment building. I mean if I had 20 billion dollars I sure as hell wouldn’t be living in Imperial Beach, in the hood. It must be too dangerous right now to sell those secrets. Perhaps the Russians are watching her. It’s no problem to spill your guts to a total stranger though, a cabbie I might add…

But there’s more... As she got out Beatrice noticed a car in the dark alley. Could it have been a government agent? An assassin? Someone getting off the night shift at work? She ran out and jotted down the license plate and told me that I absolutely was forbidden to repeat anything that we talked about. Until now. I must break my silence. The world needs to know…

April 14, 2008 – The Rim Turns?

2008-04-14T22:54:00.000-07:00

Heard a good one from a fellow driver the other day. Bobby had brought the car into the shop yesterday to pay his lease, as many of the drivers do, when he bumped into Catherine. Some small talk ensued. I don’t like small talk – what’s the point? It’s a little scripted for me, although admittedly, I can be a little brash – especially with that toilet mouth of mine. I appreciate when people are direct, when they tell me what’s on their mind. To a point that is. Once years back when I worked at a gas station I ran into such a situation.

Me: Hello

Customer: Hi

Customer: Give me a pack of Pall Mall cigarettes. (Please would have been nice)

These are simply DREADFUL by the way. Especially the ones in the orange pack. I don’t ever want to be so poor that I have to smoke Pall Mall cigarettes.

Me: Sure thing. How’s the day going?

Customer: Shitty. Just found out my wife’s pregnant. She’s banging some other guy. Kid’s not even mine.

Me: Oh. Sorry to hear that… That’ll be $4.17.

Not a very smooth transition, I was caught a little off guard though… I don’t know what surprised me more that he would volunteer such intimate details of his life to a gas station attendant of all people, or that he was married. It was strange nonetheless. He was awkwardly staring at me as if waiting for a rebuttal of sorts. I admit, I was a little confused. And so I digress…

So back to the case at hand, with Bobby and Catherine. There was a problem, a big one – in Catherine’s eyes at least. A scuff on the rim. Bobby explained how the car had grazed a curb as it was pulling off of the road.

Catherine: But Bobby, I don’t understand.

Bobby: Why?

Catherine: I don’t understand why there isn’t damage to the fender (that surrounds the wheelwell.)

Bobby: Because I bumped into a curb. It was only like 6 inches tall so it didn’t make contact with the body of the car. Just the rim.

Catherine: Bobby. The scuff is all the way up here though. How can there be a scuff this high up on the rim without any damage to the body of the car?

Bobby just stood there stunned.

Bobby: The rim turns Catherine. It was at a different position when I bumped the curb. When I drove the car here it just happened to stop at a different point. (In this case the wheel had rotated 180 degrees.)

Catherine: No, that doesn’t make sense. There would be damage higher up as well.

I mean this is pretty basic shit. You don’t have to be a mechanic to know this, although the mechanics that she hires probably don’t. I use the term “hire” loosely as well – not really sure what sort of arrangement she has going.

Hasn’t Catherine ever watched the Price is Right. You know the part, when they spin that big fucking wheel to see who is going to get into the “Showcase Showdown.” Guess what, it spins on a big axle as well.

Catherine probably thinks when one of Bob’s (not to be confused with Bobby) contestants spins that big wheel that it stops on a dollar every time. Maybe she thinks the wheel is stationary and it's the room that's spinning. I wonder if she thinks that the Earth is flat… I mean she believes in Jesus. Don’t get me wrong, everyone has the right to believe in whatever they please – no matter how silly those beliefs may be.

What's with this? And where did all the cougars go? You should be ashamed of yourself CBS. By the way your station sucks. All you do is Create Bullshit Sitcoms. I'd rather smash my finger with a hammer than watch "Everybody Loves Raymond" or "The King of Queens." Shameful.

Looks like Bob's still holding it down though. Never looked better Bob.

I go in and pay my lease at night just so I don’t have to deal with shit like this. It makes me dizzy talking to those people. I just drop my money in the little black safe – which is a joke in itself, I’ve seen sturdier mailboxes.

April 12, 2008 – A Call From The Office

2008-04-12T23:07:00.000-07:00

Ring, Ring...

Me: Hello

Catherine: Hi *****

Me: Hi

Catherine: It’s Catherine

Me: I know. (No Shit)

Catherine:….

Me: Yes…

Catherine: *****, do you know what this is about?

Me: I’m not sure.

Catherine: ***** were you driving yesterday at 4:50 p.m.?

Me: Yep

Catherine: Do you know what I’m referring to?

Me: No, I’m not sure.

Catherine: At 4:50 p.m. were you driving on 6^th street?

Me: It’s quite possible.

Catherine: Do you remember an incident with another driver near the library.

Me: I do.

Catherine: Do you remember what happened?

Me: Yeah, I remember coming across this guy that threw a fit for no reason. Was it that guy?

Catherine: The man who called just wanted to say that he was disappointed.

Me: He was disappointed?

Catherine: Yes *****, he was disappointed.

Me: Well, I’m not really sure how to help him. I didn’t do anything wrong?

Catherine: He said that you went around him when there wasn’t any room.

Me: There was room because I passed him. If there wasn’t any room I wouldn’t have been able to do so.

Catherine: Do you see what this is about *****?

Me: It’s about some guy that got frustrated for no reason. I don’t know what to tell you.

Catherine: Do you see what the problem is?

Me: No I don’t.

Catherine: *****, in Cortez we are held to a higher standard. We have a monopoly here in Cortez. We could lose this at any time. We have to be careful.

By the way, there are no monopolies here in the United States. We have anti-trust laws against that sort of thing. And what’s with all of the repetition? Just because I drive a cab doesn’t mean I’m slow.

April 6, 2008 – The Rules Of The Road

2008-04-06T21:54:00.000-07:00

Driving around lately I’ve noticed that not everyone out there seems to be too familiar with the rules of the road. Not necessarily laws, but courtesy and common decency as well.

1. This is a huge pet peeve of mine. When you are driving parallel to me and to the rear and you see me put on my turn signal. Don’t speed up and try to block me from moving over. This is rude, and dangerous. Don’t try to be sly and stare straight ahead as you do this to avoid eye contact. We both know that you’re an asshole. I see what you are planning on doing and I’ll just move over anyways. I’ve dealt with your kind before. All you’ll be able to do is slam on your brake’s and curse in your car. Have a little dignity.

2. If we are stopped in traffic and you see me with my signal on, let me in. It’s polite and won’t prolong your trip. If you don’t let me in I’ll just point the nose of my car in and go anyways. All you can do is sit there steaming mad in your shitty little Honda. Yeah, the one with the coffee can muffler. You’ll look ridiculous.

3. Don’t tailgate me. If you feel I am going too slow you can either pass me or change lanes. If you persist I’ll may slam on my brakes and give you one hell of a scare. If you rear-end me it’s your fault and you’ll be getting the ticket.

4. You know those entrance ramps that lead on to the freeway, you know why they’re so long? It’s so you have time to get up to freeway speed. Don’t try to enter the freeway going 35 mph. That’s dangerous. Also, it’s YOUR duty to merge onto the freeway, it’s not my responsibility to accommodate you. It’s not safe for me to have to suddenly slow to 35 mph.

5. Use your turn signal. Often times I see people looking over to the lanes to the right or left and trying move over. Then they’re angry that no one will let them in. At any rate, you have no right to get mad at someone who won’t let you in if you don’t use your turn signal. If your turn signal doesn’t work you can use a hand signal.

6. Don’t block the intersection during rush hour. You’ll be pretty embarrassed when someone needs to cross and you may get blasted with a horn or two, and rightfully so I might add.

7. When I use my turn signal, slow to a stop in the right lane and put my reverse lights guess what I am doing. See that open parking meter 20 feet behind me to the right? Could I be parking there…? WHAT THE FUCK ELSE WOULD I BE DOING! Why don’t people don’t understand this. Don’t pull directly behind me so I can’t back up. You’ll get flustered. You’ll look ridiculous. And I won’t be moving unless it means that I will be backing into that parking spot.

"See It, Touch It, Trust It." ?

April 3, 2008 - Catheter Cab

2008-04-03T18:50:00.000-07:00

Today a new nickname was coined for one of our fellow drivers. His taxi in particular. “Catheter Cab”. Not too long ago one of our other drivers, Bogna, who’s a piece of work herself, found a little surprise under Jorge’s seat. What was it might you ask. Oh, well it was a milk carton full of pee. Jorge though he was being sly when he told her that it was “lemonade.” Lemonade? Really? Bet it didn’t smell like lemonade…

Jorge pretty much never leaves his car for anything. Not even to go to the bathroom. I hope that he doesn’t poop in there, although I wouldn’t be surprised. I’d imagine that at some point in his 19 hour shift he would need to go number 2. What would he tell Bogna that the poop was? Cupcakes? Brownies? Whatever Jorge said would probably be illegible anyways. You ever find a frequency between two radio stations that pulls in a little from each channel. They overlap, like Jorge’s Spanish and English, although here it sounds like the Spanish station is in much closer proximity. I’m always amazed when people move here and reside in the states for years and never seem to acquire an English proficiency greater than that of a 7 year old. My coffee table probably has better English, and people skills, than Jorge. The microwave too.

Another time one of the drivers happened to find chicken bones under the seat. Why would you discard the bones under the seat? Me, I’d probably throw them out the window. At least if I was Cortez. They probably have had to hire an extra employee to pick up all of my trash. I could be creating jobs for people. Maybe they would put a detective on the case, although given what I’ve seen so far I’d have no reason to be worried. They seem pretty harmless. Don’t get me wrong, I think police do a great service to the community, however I think that their attention could be focused elsewhere sometimes. Here in candy ass Cortez at least. Underage smoking, jaywalking, and walking home drunk don’t strike me as huge problems.

“Catheter Cab” seems fitting but I’ve come up with a few nicknames of my own. How about “Commode Cab”? “Toilet Taxi?” Maybe “Cadaver Cab.” Son of a bitch looks half dead most of the time anyways. Maybe it has something to do with his 90 hour workweeks. I can only imagine how many transportation regulations he is violating. He used to have rows of books piled up on the dash. So tall that you would have trouble seeing over them. One of the drivers said that Catherine became aware of this and told Jorge that he isn’t able to live in the car anymore – one of the few sane things that I have ever heard of her doing by the way. Jorge would just work as many hours as he was physically able to do without passing out and then go to sleep in the back. Whenever he woke up he would go back to work.

April 1, 2008 – Our Shitty Old Cars

2008-04-01T21:48:00.000-07:00

My car is in the shop today. No surprise there. In the meantime I have a loaner to drive. Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy that I have something do drive but I’m amazed that some of these things are still on the road. This one’s a baby, relatively speaking that is… Only 128,480 miles, although I wouldn’t be surprised if the odometer had already rolled over. Hell, I can’t really complain, they don’t have me driving that shitty old station wagon anymore. You know, the Griswaldmobile.

As bad as these cars are it’s fun to talk to the other drivers about what they had to drive in the past. Makes these things look like Caddilacs. Doors falling off, wheels falling off, you name it. Maybe I don’t have it so bad. Driver safety doesn’t really seem to be an issue however. Just look at the tires, the steel is poking through. Our boss thinks that used tires are a good investment. She buys tires that only have like 10,000 miles left on them, so typically they are good for like two months tops. Of course she has to pay a shop to put them on and balance them each time. She doesn’t pay much though, and it shows. Usually when I pick up my car from the shop it is littered with wood screws, duct tape, and mismatched spray paint. I'm surprised it isn't on fire.

Pretty sure when you get a new set of tires you get an alignment. Although the tires really aren’t new so maybe Catherine thinks that alignments aren’t needed. I bet if Jesus told her that the cars needed an alignment she would have a change of heart. I’m surprised she doesn’t try to bless our cars. Well, not that I know of. Not much surprises me here anymore…

I like the cigarette burns in my seat and the rusty gear shift. Nice touch. I really wish that she wasn’t such a pain in the ass about washing the car. Will people not notice that it is a piece of shit if it just went through a car wash? I should roll the windows down when I bring it through the wash. I’ll notice something – my wallet being lighter. Not that it’s too heavy after working here. Guess it’s been 8 months or so now. The other day Catherine told me that the car needed to be detailed. Fuck that. I could think of a hundred better things to spend $50 dollars on. None of them involve Jesus.

March 29, 2008 – Tourists

2008-03-29T21:07:00.000-07:00

I’m often amazed by some of the questions tourists ask… There are a number of rumors in Cortez but here are two of my favorites.

Cortez has a bridge that connects it back to San Diego, which is an alternate route from the point where Cortez connects on the south end by way of a state highway. Anyways, somewhere or another someone decided to start a rumor that if the bridge ever fell into the bay that it would float. Really? This two mile long fifty foot wide mass of concrete and steel weighing hundreds of thousands, if not millions of tons, would just float in the water???

Ok, lets just roll with this for arguments sake. Suppose that the bridge fell into the bay and was floating there like some bathtub toy, blocking access out of the bay, and one of Navy vessels needed to make their way out to the ocean for whatever reason. They would be shit out of luck right. Nope, that’s where Cortez’s exploding highway comes into play. Some people believe that there is enough dynamite laid under the state highway, which happens to be like a quarter mile wide, to blow a gaping hole in it to let ships pass through to the ocean. Not to mention that this opening would have to be hundreds of feet wide and dozens of feet deep to give a proper berth for such huge ships…

Well, those are my two favorites, but I heard another absurd one from a tourist today. Apparently one of the employees on the ferry that shuttles tourists from San Diego to Cortez is telling people that Cortez has a zero percent crime rate. Really, that’s fucking unbelievable. Literally. So lets assume that this crime rate is averaged throughout the year, thus the city would have no annual crime. I’m amazed that this isn’t national news, a city with no crimes at all!

P.S. - You're welcome to make fun of my shitty drawings all you want. Therein the charm lies.

March 25, 2008 – Showdown With The Sarge

2008-03-25T21:22:00.000-07:00

So once again, here we are, mono a mano – me and The Sarge. He turns at me with an surprisingly imposing glare, despite his short stature. His mustache is neatly trimmed. Braun? Shall I ask him?

I nod politely. I admire his panache.

Today is the day I prove my innocence. I stroll in looking quite dapper myself. I dress up and put on a tie. It was a real struggle putting on a tie this morning, it’s been years since I wore one. I had to use a diagram that I found on the internet. And even then it was only occasionally. Judges notice these things. Dressing up shows respect for the court and what it represents. Me, well I just am interested in winning my case. This day has been months in the making. It can be rather intimidating contesting the officer in court, I wouldn’t bother if I didn’t think I had a shot. But I brought pictures, diagrams, and one hell of a compelling story. This all weighs in as well. Here is a person who is willing to take the time to not only dress up, drive to court, wake up at 6:30 a.m., take time to take and develop pictures, draw diagrams, and take time off work to come to Chula Vista of all places. I was already off of work, I work nights, but the judge probably didn’t notice.

So I explained how the officer’s view was obscured by the curving, dimly lit road – State Road 57. I explained to the judge that I was headed South and turned to the East just as another vehicle was headed West and turned North. All at the same intersection, all at the same point in time. The amazing thing was that these events happened nearly simultaneously with two nearly identical late model sedans giving the impression that I illegally took a u-turn instead of heading eastbound.

Then the pictures and the diagram came out. The Sarge threw his hands up in disbelief. The sea was angry. He made it a point to correct some of my sketches more mundane details. I held my composure and stated my case. No theatrics, no bravado, just a well planned defense. I came out on top. I won. The Judge did have one request however – my trip sheet. I didn’t have it with me, but I agreed to bring it in at a later date. I was informed that my case would be dismissed upon my submission of this.

The Sarge stormed out of the court after quickly gathering his papers. He was not happy in the least, but that was to be expected. If I was worried about hurting his feelings I never would of came. But that’s not something that much bothered me. I’ll have to be more careful from now on, and do my best not to garner any additional scrutiny in Cortez…

March 5, 2008 – Frank Menderson

2008-03-05T19:34:00.000-08:00

So a few weeks I brought up one of our notable customers – Frank Menderson. He’s one of the local trolls that we have to cart from time to time. None of us drivers are too fond of him. With Frank you get the same old shit every time.

Frank’s like clockwork. Pretty much every day, except Sundays, Frank takes a taxi between 6 and 7 p.m. Here at the company we have an option of “holding.” This means that we are opting to be available for a much narrower range of possibly fares. For example since we know that Frank will be coming out from a residential address, we will “hold the base,” which means that we will only be accepting calls from the Navy base – not that those are any more desirable usually…

So every day a handful of drivers, myself included, hold the Navy base in hopes of getting a better ride. Frank only ever goes out to one of his two favorite local restaurants. The fare never comes out to more than $5 or $6 and our tip usually consists of rounding up to the next dollar. Were not impressed.

If we just accept calls from the Navy base there is a chance that we will get a ride that just goes a few blocks as well of course, but we may get a great ride too. Sometimes you get hundred dollar rides out of there. Sometimes if you don’t hold the base you’ll get a call at a different residence. Those can be good too. Often times they go to the airport. But by holding were guaranteed that we won’t have anyone grasping on to our arm with their long crusty fingernails and clammy hands, they won’t be carrying around a bag full of outdated tattered newspapers, they won’t have been wearing the same clothes that they’ve had on for the last 6 days, and they probably won’t smell like pee.

March 3, 2008 – Fender Bender

2008-03-03T21:41:00.000-08:00

Got into a little fender bender today. Just a minor one – no damage. Everyday around rush hour (between 3 and 6 p.m. here in Cortez) there is a giant traffic jam. There are two main roads in and out of Cortez. These roads take the brunt of the traffic in and out of the city during these times. They’re a mess.

You have A street that takes you over the bridge into Cortez, and B street that takes you out back to San Diego. There is a way to bypass this and take the highway on the south side of town and go around the bay but it is much longer. There are two ways to get across to the other side of Cortez. You can stop at the stop sign at A street and dart across the road, which you have to do across B street as well. If you’re able to get across this is much better than going to the stop at the first main intersection to cross. MUCH quicker.

Cars pile up at the stop sign that crosses A street because it’s well known that this is a much faster route. What you have to do is watch for the car to merge onto A street, quickly look to your left, as it is a one-way street, and shoot out if the coast is clear. So the guy in front of me darted out and I looked out to the left to make an entry onto A. Coast was clear. I darted out as well only to find that the car in front of me had hesitated and stopped 20 feet directly in front of me directly in the roadway. What the fuck! Anyways, I just bumped him. He was cool with it since there was no damage. We parted ways.

Catherine has this policy that ALL accidents need to be reported, regardless of who is at fault or if there is any damage. She has these accident report forms that are nearly unreadable because it looks like the original has been photocopied dozens of times. Actually it’s like the original was photocopied, then the photocopy was photocopied, and that photocopy was photocopied and so on… Say fifteen times or so.

Those accident reports are unnecessary in my opinion, and I don’t have time to do that. Other drivers tell me that even when you are not found to be at fault Catherine will try to hold past accidents against you. Even if you got rear-ended. Unbelievable! We also have a deductable of $1000, which is quite high in my opinion since we drive around 40 or so hours more per week than most people. Even as good drivers were much more likely to get into an accident because we drive more than most people. Some of the more veteran drivers tell me that Catherine gives them an ultimatum, although perhaps not directly, that if they want to continue work there that they have to pay for the damages out of pocket - even if they exceed $1000. That doesn’t strike me as fair.

Since I work in transportation the reporting of accidents may be a federal requirement. I’m not really sure, or worried for that matter.

March 2, 2008 – Town Drunks

2008-03-02T19:36:00.000-08:00

After a while of working in Cortez you start to notice a pattern. I have recently noticed one. Cortez is full of drunks. You know the ones that are out at the bar every day at 5 p.m. and make a total ass of themselves, or start crying telling you some personal detail of their lives, or being to drunk to remember their address, or what they’ve already asked you, or asking the same question over and over, or leaving their beer bottles in the back, or trying to smoke in the car with the windows up, and so on…

The NAVY is the worst! They smell like B.O, don’t know which Navy base that they are trying to get to, and worst of all is when they try to pick a fight with you. The sad thing is sometimes you see them doing the same thing every night.

They’re not bad people, sometimes they are quite pleasant. Some are real nice to talk to. “Smokey” is no exception. We all love picking up Smokey. He is one of the best tippers out there. Not really sure what Smokey’s story is, all I know is that word around town is that he is an excellent golfer. Smokey usually takes several taxi’s throughout the night, but the optimal time to catch him is on the ride home from the bar. Smokey is quite the conversationalist but usually easily gets confused and says “I don’t know man” or “I like your style.” Statements like this have become the norm and are expected on a ride home with Smokey.

Sometimes I pick up Smokey from the golf course when he is moderately sober and bring him to the bar or back to house and he will usually give about $4 dollars on a $6 dollar fare. A pretty average to substantial tip, and on top of that he is a nice guy and we all like to pick him up. However, if you get him leaving the bar at the end of the night he is more likely to give you a $14 dollar tip on a $6 dollar ride, which is an excellent tip. Well, tonight I was lucky enough to pick up Smokey and give him a ride home from the bar, and boy he was on a good one. When we got to his place he gave me $30 dollars for that $6 dollar ride. Funny thing was that he said “Here’s $50.” Apparently he was too drunk to count his money and thought he gave me more money than he did. I was more than happy, I didn’t see any need to correct him and tell him he was $20 short.

We have a long list of town drunks in Cortez. Interestingly enough most of them live on Margarita St...